


To Love What We Broke

by Kelandry5



Series: What We Broke [2]
Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Anorexia, Depression, Eating Disorders, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Healing, Illnesses, Love, M/M, Mental Instability, Multiple Personalities, Protective Akashi Seijuurou, Protective Generation of Miracles, Rakuzan Kuroko Tetsuya, Recovery, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tragedy, suicidal!kuroko
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-04-02
Packaged: 2018-09-16 18:45:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 24,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9285125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelandry5/pseuds/Kelandry5
Summary: Sequel to "To Fix What We Broke"The match between Seirin and the GOM was successful. Their message got through to Kuroko. Now they get to ride off in the sunset and live happily ever after right? Not even close. Akashi will stop at nothing to save Kuroko whether it's from himself, the world, or even Akashi. But when tragedy strikes again and again, will it be enough? Just how much can one person take before they are broken beyond repair?Akakuro."Even if you glue a broken glass back together, it takes time, the cracks will still be visible, and it might even leak."Temporarily on hold!





	1. Blue Boy

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to "To Fix What We Broke"  
> Continues from the last chapter of the prequel!  
> The first chapter is short because I decided to make it about the same length as the first chapter in the prequel. I will update with the next chapter really soon though!

Akashi placed his hand on top of Kuroko’s hand and watched the smaller boy sleep for a few minutes. The boy in the bed was frail. Bags under his eyes spoke of exhaustion despite sleeping nearly all day every day. His skin was tinted with hints of blue from lack of oxygen in his blood despite the oxygen tube inserted in his nose. There was the slightest hint of yellow tinge to his otherwise pale skin as well and the usual bruises that littered his body from the slightest things. Like the rest of him, his hand was cold. Akashi brushed the bluenettes hair from his forehead and placed a quick gentle kiss before leaving the room.

+

“Dr. Midorima, Akashi Seijūrō is here to see you. Shall I send him in?”

Dr. Midorima looked up from his papers at the nurse in the doorway and nodded.

“Please.”

“Right away, doctor.” The nurse hurried off and returned with Akashi. Once Akashi had stepped into the office, she scurried off again.

“I take it, you don’t have good news.” Akashi stated as he took a seat on the couch, back straight, legs crossed, and the best poker face he could manage.

“I got the results back from the latest tests. Not much has changed. He hasn’t quite gained a pound yet and his lung function is continuing to deteriorate. His liver and kidney function haven’t shown any significant changes, although I didn’t expect them too. We are successfully managing his electrolytes so the threat of seizures has decreased, however his blood pressure and blood sugar levels are still too low. It could certainly be worse……” Dr. Midorima tailed off letting his words sink in.

“It could be better. How much time does he have?”

“I didn’t say he was going to die. His chances of a full recovery may not be desirable, but they definitely exist. These things take time. We have to reintroduce his body to food slowly to avoid risking further damage to his health.”

“What if his body….” Akashi felt ashamed as the tears jumped from his eyes. He didn’t want to cry, but he was scared. It was taking too much time when time wasn’t abundant.

“Akashi…..” Dr. Midorima stood from his chair and moved to sit by the red head. He gently patted his back with one hand and offered some tissues with the other, which Akashi accepted. “Have faith in him.”

Akashi blew his nose and nodded. “I should go. He might be awake.” The red head stood taking a moment to compose himself before leaving. The doctor sighed and went back to his work. Seeing people break down was one of the hard parts of his job and one of his least favorite parts.

 


	2. Laughter and Tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are appreciated!  
> Thank you everyone for reading!!!

Akashi cursed himself for crying. He was far too emotional these days. On his way back to Kuroko’s room, he slipped in the bathroom and made sure all evidence of tears was gone. He didn’t need Kuroko knowing he had cried. It would just upset the boy and the last thing Kuroko needed was something more to stress about.

Plastering the best smile he could manage onto his face, he made his way to the bluenettes and entered. Exhausted eyes looked at the red head with a pained expression. That look made Akashi feel like crumbling, but he didn’t. He smiled softly and kicked off his shoes to climb in the bed. Being close seemed to be one of the few comforts he could offer his lover but at least he could offer something.

“I’m back.” The red head announced as if it wasn’t plain to see. He gently tugged Kuroko’s head till it rested on his chest. The two stayed silent and still for several moments.

“If you’re…” Kuroko had to pause to let a coughing fit pass. Akashi watched the coughs rack the small body causing more pain to etch itself into Kuroko’s features. When the coughing stopped, he continued. “If you’re bored you don’t have to lay with me. It’s okay.”

There was a moment of silence before Kuroko’s chin was lifted by Akashi’s hand. The red head kissed Kuroko lightly and smiled. “I’m not bored. Rest. You still have a while before dinner.”

Kuroko didn’t nod or reply. He adjusted his head to rest against Akashi who noticed the smaller boy didn’t even react to the mention of dinner. It should be something to celebrate, but Akashi knew it was only because Kuroko didn’t have the strength. He was looking more worn out than usual. It worried Akashi. Sometimes he swore he could feel the life slipping from the cold body next to him. He hugged his boyfriend closer and closed his eyes until the food arrived.

Kuroko’s dinner was the same small bowl of broth and small bowl of rice he had every night. It was all the bluenette could currently keep down.

“Try to finish half of it this time.” Akashi pulled the table closer and picked up the spoon. Kuroko nodded weakly against his chest and he brought the first spoonful to the bluenettes lips. Eating was getting a bit easier for Kuroko, but one of the symptoms of his medications and failing organs was unfortunately nausea which made the task harder. Even without that, he still didn’t like eating, but it was easier to manage a few bites before breaking down. He was thankful that Akashi never rushed him.

“Just a bit more. Your almost there.” The red head encouraged. As Kuroko was getting close to the half way mark, Akashi’s phone vibrated.

“You should get that.” The bluenette warned. Akashi looked from his lover to the phone and back to his lover.

“Ok. But you aren’t done eating yet.” Was his stern reply. He picked up the red phone from the table and swiped the screen. It was a message from Kise. Kuroko watched as he opened it, although he couldn’t concentrate on the words enough to read them.

_[To: Seijūrō_

_From: Ryota_

_Message: Aominecchi and I are dropping by in a few minutes if that’s okay.]_

Before Akashi could reply, another message came through, this time from Aomine.

_[To: Seijūrō_

_From: Daiki_

_Message: Did Tetsu’s test results come back?]_

Akashi decided to reply to Aomine first.

_[To: Daiki_

_From: Akashi_

_Message: Yes. His lungs are worsening and he hasn’t gained a pound yet but everything else was more or less the same.]_

He sent the message and decided not to bother replying to Kise. Instead he turned his attention back to his lover and picked up the spoon.

“Anything important?” Kuroko asked before accepting the food.

“Daiki and Ryota are coming over. They should be here in a few minutes I think. Is that okay?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Good, just a few more bites. Any nausea?”

“No.”

The pair smiled, Akashi more than Kuroko, and Kuroko finished his meal.

“Will you go get dinner while they are here?” Kuroko asked after a moment.

“I can stay if you want me to.”

“No. It’s okay. I won’t be alone so it’s okay.”

Akashi nodded. Kuroko had told him a few days that he didn’t like being alone. He was okay when someone was with him, but when he was alone, he wanted to do things he knew he shouldn’t and his thoughts were hard to handle. Since then, Akashi was very careful to never leave him alone for very long if at all.

  
“KUROKOCCHI!!!!!!!” Kise bounded through the doorway over to the bed giving Kuroko a big hug.

“Oww” Kuroko coughed. Kise pulled back instantly.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

“Oi! This is a hospital baka! Quiet down!” Aomine slapped Kise. Akashi was giving Kise a murderous glare. A giggle from Kuroko eased the tension though and Akashi stood up.

“I’m going to the cafeteria. Daiki, keep Ryota in line.” He glared at Daiki before turning to Kuroko. “I’ll be back soon. Text me if these two idiots bother you okay?” He planted a quick kiss on Kuroko’s pale lips and waited for a response.

“Take your time. They’re harmless.” He replied.

“Love you. I’ll be back soon.” Akashi left. Kise climbed onto the foot of the bed (it seemed to be his favorite place to sit) and Aomine pulled up a chair, noticing the food on the table.

“Did we interrupt your dinner?” The tanner of the three asked.

“No. I just finished.”

Aomine gave him a look of ‘there’s still half of it left. How is that finished?’ but he didn’t comment. Instead he asked if Kuroko was tired and Kuroko said he was.

“You can sleep if you want to Kurokocchi. We don’t mind.”

“I promise I won’t let him draw on your face with permanent marker.” Aomine added.

“So I can draw on his face with washable markers?” Kise grinned excietedly.

“NO!” Kuroko and Aomine both replied, Kuroko lightly kicking Kise with his foot and Aomine slapping Kise on the head. The blond fake pouted.

“You guys are so mean!” He whined.

“Says the guy who wants to draw on my face while I sleep!”

“I won’t draw anything awful, promise.”

Aomine growled and smacked Kise again. “That’s not the point, baka.”

“I would make his face pretty!”

“Are you saying my face isn’t pretty already?” Kuroko teased with his monotone voice.

“That’s not what I mean Kurokocchi!”

“So you think he is pretty? Better watch out. If Akashi finds…” Aomine stopped as Kise kicked him.

“I didn’t say that!!!!!” The blond wailed. “You guys aren’t playing fair! I can’t win this!!!!”

The blond and navy haired teen continued to bicker. Kuroko closed his eyes and smiled, listening until he dozed off. The other two were so caught up they didn’t even notice until several minutes later.


	3. A Walk In The Park

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so ummm....fluff....why is there so much fluff? I wrote fluff. I'm going to go cringe now. Although I think it's cute....kinda. I refuse to admit to anything.  
> I hope I did okay with the fluff. I don't have much experience writing fluff and I'm certainly not a fluffy person (that sentence makes me think of Izuki haha), but I tried!  
> Let me know what you think. Unless you don't want to.

By the end of the week, the tests showed improvement in Kuroko’s liver and kidney function thanks to the IV nutrients and he was able to eat half the rice and half the broth without getting nauseous. Of course, they were small bowls, but it was still an achievement. As a reward, Akashi got permission from the doctor to take Kuroko to the park next to the hospital. Kuroko hadn’t left his hospital room since the day of the game except for tests. He couldn’t help the small grin that tugged at his lips when the red head brought a wheelchair in Saturday morning and told him the news.

“Thank you.” Kuroko smiled softly as Akashi picked him up and placed him on the cushioned wheel chair. He was wrapped up warmly in his pajamas, one of Akashi’s hooded sweatshirts, socks and shoes, gloves, and a blanket over his lap even though it wasn’t actually cold outside. The chair had some type of pillow attached to the bottom and back to make it more comfortable since hard surfaces were painful for him.

Akashi checked to make sure they had everything for what was probably the fifth time and probably would have checked a sixth if Kuroko didn’t pull on his shirt.

“Sei-kun…” He flashed an annoyed look at his red head lover. “You already checked.”

Akashi smiled and cupped his cheek with one hand while placing a kiss on his forehead. “Alright alright.”

“You’re like a mother fawning over her child on the first day of kindergarten.”

“I am not!” Akashi pretended to look offended which made Kuroko laugh.

 Akashi smiled and pushed the wheel chair out of the room. Kuroko leaned back and closed his eyes to rest. He wanted to save as much energy as he could until they got to the park.

“We’re here.” Akashi bent down and picked up the bluenette as his eyes slowly opened. They were by the small lake. The red head placed the bluenette on a small blanket that had been laid out on the ground in front of a tree for Kuroko to lean against, and then took a seat next to him.

He hadn’t really planned on doing much during the outing. The lake shone beautifully with the sun hitting it and the park was relatively quiet since it was during work hours on a work day. It was a nice place to relax and be free of the hospital for a little while without requiring a lot of energy or attracting too many prying eyes. Their first date, a nice afternoon sitting in the park.

“Thank you Sei-kun.”

Akashi interlaced his fingers with Kuroko’s and leaned back without replying.

“A turtle.” Kuroko suddenly spoke after about ten minutes, startling Akashi.

“What are you talking about Tetsuya?”

“That cloud.” The bluenette replied in a monotone voice, not even bothering to point at it.

“Then…..a dragon.” Akashi didn’t point at the cloud he was looking at either. They giggled. For all they knew, the other one was making it up. Kuroko squeezed Akashi’s hand.

“I love you Sei-kun.”

“I love you too.”

They stayed quiet for another moment before Kuroko placed his head down on the red heads lap surprising him.

“Is something wrong Tetsuya?”

“I just want to lay on your lap. Is that okay?” He looked up at Akashi’s face. Akashi couldn’t resist those blue eyes staring back at him and smiled running a hand through Kuroko’s head.

“Of course.”

“Mmmm” Kuroko hummed pleased with the response. It felt good to be outside with the gentle breeze on his face and the birds singing little tunes.

“What’s your favorite kind of flower?” Kuroko closed his eyes and adjusted his head slightly. Akashi leaned back and closed his eyes as well.

“A rose.”

“Red?”

“Of course. Although I wouldn’t mind blue.” He ran his hand through Kuroko’s hair again with a light chuckle.

“Do blue roses exist?”

“Of course. What’s your favorite?”

“Baby’s breath.”

Akashi looked down and peered at Kuroko with one eye open. “Baby’s breath? That’s an odd choice.”

“Is it?”

“I suppose it isn’t for you.” Akashi chuckled again. Kuroko opened his eyes and glared at the red head playfully.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You never are what anyone expects.” Akashi stated bluntly.

“I can’t tell if you mean that as a compliment or an insult Sei-kun.”

“A compliment of course. It’s what makes you so interesting.” He smiled and placed a quick kiss on Kuroko’s lips. Moments like these were nice. He could almost believe that everything was normal and there was nothing to worry about. It was peaceful.

“Sei-kun?”

“Yes darling.” Akashi grinned as Kuroko’s face blushed deep red.

“W….what was that for?!!” He stammered.

“You’re cute when you’re flustered.” Akashi laughed. Kuroko glared at him with a pout on his face.

“Don’t call me darling.” He tried to sound annoyed, but he couldn’t quite manage to chase the amusement from his voice.

“Cupcake?”

“ABSOLUTELY NOT!”

“Honey?”

“It’s not nice to call people names Sei-kun.” Kuroko pouted and looked away.

“Okay. I’m sorry.” Akashi placed another kiss on the bluenettes forehead still grinning.

“You don’t look very sorry.” Kuroko continued to pout.

“Do you want some tea?”

“That wasn’t subtle.” Kuroko deadpanned.

“I’m just asking.” Akashi defended, raising his hands in surrender. Kuroko laughed lightly and nodded.

“We have some?” He asked. Akashi nodded and pulled out a thermos from the bag he had with him. He poured a bit of the steaming liquid into the cup portion and held Kuroko’s head up so he could drink.

“It’s warm.” Kuroko smiled, resting his head back on Akashi’s lap.

“Let me know if you want some more.” Akashi drank what Kuroko didn’t and screwed the cup back onto the mug. The bluenette shifted to his back and closed his eyes.

“Are you getting tired?” Akashi asked.

“Not really.”

“You don’t want to go back yet?” Akashi guessed. “It’s okay. We don’t have to go back yet. You can rest here.”

Kuroko smiled, thankful Akashi understood.

“I’m sorry our first date couldn’t be more exciting Sei-kun.”

“Don’t be. This is perfect.” The red head leaned down and lifted Kuroko’s head to meet half way as he planted a slightly longer than normal kiss on Kuroko’s pale lips. He would have liked to hold it longer, but Kuroko’s lungs were still weak. Akashi pulled away and stroked Kuroko’s cheek with his thumb and the bluenette rested.

They stayed like that for about an hour before the alarm on Akashi’s phone went off and it was time to head back. He placed his lover back in the wheel chair as gently as possible, packed up, and began the walk back, shooting murderous glares at anyone who stared too long. Kuroko’s eyes were closed most of the way, but he still didn’t want others staring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was brought to my attention that some of the medical details may be inaccurate. If you notice any, let me know. It may have been intentional or it may have been accidental in which case I can try to fix it. I want it to seem realistic (although that doesn't mean I won't take artistic liberties occasionally). I've tried to base things off of research and experience but I'm not a doctor. Thank you!


	4. Visits and Tricks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: The Oha Asa color, item, and ranking used in this chapter are actually from the date this was written, Jan. 15.
> 
> Thank you for the comments so far.
> 
> Yes this has been light hearted the past couple chapters, but don't worry, it won't last...or maybe that's a reason to worry...eh, whatever. ENJOY!

“Kurokocchi!!!!!” Kise bounded into the room too loudly and nearly pounced on Kuroko. He controlled himself, stopping his momentum at the bedside before pulling Kuroko into a gentle hug, well…..gentle in Kise’s book.

“Kise…..kun.” Kuroko coughed and Kise pulled away, puppy dog eyes staring at the bluenette apologetically.

“Idiot! Does the word ‘hospital’ mean nothing to you?” Aomine smacked Kise with a magazine. The two quickly began their normal bickering. Kuroko turned his attention to the giant and the greenette entering the room.

 “You’re lucky item.” Midorima said as he handed Kuroko a pink spoon. Ever since Kuroko had been put back in the hospital, Midorima would bring him his lucky item in the morning or his father would in his place. He acted like he was indifferent to Kuroko most of the time and he would never admit otherwise, but he really did care. “Aquarius is number 6 and your lucky color is pink.” Midorima relayed Oha Asa horoscope information. Kuroko smiled and thanked him, after which Midorima stepped back to speak with Akashi who was standing a bit away to let the others have some time with Kuroko.

Murasakibara was next and patted Kuroko on the head. He didn’t bring any food in the room or offer Kuroko anything after he realized it made Kuroko uncomfortable (and Akashi scolded him, but Kuroko didn’t know about that part). Kuroko smiled and rested his eyes for a moment, but only a moment.

“Kurokocchi! Are you tired? Do you want us…”

Aomine smacked Kise again. “Give the guy some room to breathe and stop pestering him with questions.”

Kise pouted but did as he was told and stepped back a couple inches. Aomine lightly fist bumped Kuroko with a gentle smile and then everyone, minus Midorima and Akashi who had left the room, took a seat.

At first it was quiet. It was almost awkwardly quiet, but Kuroko didn’t mind and neither did the others. They  just enjoyed the awkward silence, although Kise was obviously using all his will power to be quiet and not pounce on Kuroko and fuss over him. The silence ended when Aomine scolded the blond and the two started bickering.

“Did no one teach you how to behave in a hospital?” Midorima re-entered pushing up his glasses and scowling. He was speaking to Aomine and Kise who both looked away and were quiet.

Kuroko giggled a bit.

“Is Kuro-chin okay?” Murasakibara asked worriedly. Kuroko nodded and patted the giants hand.

“I’m okay. Kise and Aomine just reminded of me of puppies being scolded for wetting the carpet.”

“Eh.” The giant tilted his head. “Kise-chin sometimes does seem like a dog.”

 “I’m not a dog!”

“Where is Sei-kun?” Kuroko asked Midorima, interrupting the argument before it disturbed the whole hospital.

“He’s out getting some fresh air and running errands.”

“Thank you Midorima-kun.”

“What’s going on?” Aomine butted in, a bit confused by the exchange and the expression on Kuroko’s face.

“Sei-kun rarely leaves. I asked Midorima-kun to find a way to get him out more. He shouldn’t be cooped up in here all the time.” Kuroko replied with a small, somewhat sad smile.

“Akashicchi probably disagrees.” Kise pointed out.

“That’s why I asked Midorima-kun to find a way to get him to go. If I asked him, he would just refuse.”

“Kurokocchi is mischievous as always.”

“I really don’t see how my actions are mischievous.”

“Kuro-chin tricked Aka-chin.” Murasakibara accused playfully.

“I did not.” Kuroko defended. “The errands were real.”

“Give it up Tetsu.” Aomine leaned back in his chair and opened up his magazine ignoring Kuroko’s glare of death.

“Aomine is a Ahomine.” Kuroko retorted making Kise and Murasakibara giggle.

“Shut up Kise!” Aomine rolled up his magazine and wacked Kise with it again.

“I didn’t say anything! It was Kurokocchi!”

“Traitor.” The bluenette whispered.

Aomine glared at Kise. “But you were laughing.”

Kise pouted and crossed his arms mumbling “so was Murasakicchi…”

“He is too far away for me to whack.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Must I remind you all this is a hospital?” Midorima hissed from his place in the corner where he had settled to read. Every one apologized, but they obviously weren’t sincere. The greenette growled and went back to his book.

Aomine went back to his magazine, Murasakibara started playing a game on his phone, and Kise started chatting to Kuroko about his week to Kuroko. It was how most visits went, although Murasakibara could only come sometimes because he lived farther away. Sometimes they would all chat together or play games and other times they would each do their own thing while enjoying the mere company of each other. Today was the latter. After a while, Kise moved on to chat Aomines ear off while Kuroko rested. He didn’t sleep, and they knew he wasn’t asleep; he just rested his eyes and relaxed.

“Ryota! I can hear you from down the hall!” Akashi stepped in the room immediately glared at Kise, effectively shutting the blond up. Well, for a few minutes at least.

“You’re back.” Kuroko broke the tension, opening his eyes and smiling at his lover. Akashi’s face softened and he sat on the side of the bluenettes bed giving him a light kiss on the lips. The others looked away as to not intrude.

“Do you need me to cut out Ryouta’s tongue?”

“No. Not this time anyway.”

“Kurokocchi!!!”

“Why don’t we go get lunch and let Tetsu rest for a bit.” Aomine suggested. Kise sighed and reluctantly got up with the others, except Akashi.

“You go on ahead. I’ll stay here.”

“Sei-kun…what about lunch?”

“I would rather stay here with you. I just got back.”

“I’ll still be here. Go.” Kuroko instructed firmly. With a sign, Akashi relented and left with the others leaving Kuroko to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was brought to my attention that some of the medical details may be inaccurate. If you notice any, let me know. It may have been intentional or it may have been accidental in which case I can try to fix it. I want it to seem realistic (although that doesn't mean I won't take artistic liberties occasionally). I've tried to base things off of research and experience but I'm not a doctor. Thank you!


	5. Mad Libs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another fun little chapter because I really wanted to. Don't worry, it won't stay happy forever....

After lunch, they all returned to Kuroko’s room with an added Kagami to their ranks.

“Yo.” Kagami greeted Kuroko who only smiled in return. They all took a seat with Akashi settling on the bed next to Kuroko.

“We should play a game!” Kise suggested.

“Like what?” Kagami asked. Kise pulled out a book and held it up for everyone to see.

“Mad libs?” Aomine read the cover. Kise nodded eagerly.

“It’s simple! But only if Kurokocchi wants too!” Kise added.

Kuroko smiled and said he didn’t mind so everyone got in a circle.

“Okay. Aominicchi! Noun!” Kise turned to Aomine beside him excitedly.

“Uh…..basketball.”

“Next is Midorimacchi. adjective.”

“Lucky.”

“Uh okay. Kagamicchi! A verb.”

“Um…run?”

“Akashicchi, adverb!”

“Brutally.”

“Uhhh…okay. Kurokocchi! noun.”

“Please be a bit quieter Kise-kun. I pick book.”

“Sorry.” Kise grinned. “Murasakicchi. Adjective.”

“Yummy.”

“Back to Aominicchi!”

“Kise, Tetsu told you to quiet down!”

“Sorry……” He changed to a whisper. “Aominicchi give a plural noun.”

“How about boobs.” Aomine growled.

“Hmph. Midorimicchi, plural noun.”

“CD’s.”

“um. Okay. Kagamicchi’s turn. Plural noun.”

“Again? Ummm…ducks.”

“Akashicchi. Body Part.”

“Arm.”

“Kurokocchi. Noun.”

“Pillow.”

“Murasakicchi gets a noun.”

“Snacks.”

“Hehe. Aominicchi. Give us a noun.”

“We still aren’t done yet? Fine. Uh… magazine?”

“Fine. Midorimacchi! Another noun please.”

“Court.”

“Okay. Last one! Kagamicchi, give us a body part!”

“Foot.”

“That it?” Aomine asked.

“Yeps! Okay here I go.” Kise announced.

“I’m afraid.” Murasakibara admitted.

“Ye can always pretend to be a bloodthirsty basketball threatening everyone by waving yer lucky sword in the air, but until ye learn to run like a pirate, ye’ll never be brutally accepted as an authentic book. So here’s what ye do: Cleverly work into yer daily conversations yummy pirate phrases such as “Ahoy there, boobs.” “Avast ye CD’S.” and “Shiver me ducks.” Remember to drop all yer g’s when ye say words such as sailin’, spittin’, and fightin’. This will give ye an arm start to being recognized as a swashbuckling pillow. Once ye have the lingo down pat, it helps to wear a three-cornered snacks on yer head, stash a magazine in yer pants, and keep a court perched atop yer foot. Aye, now ye be a real pirate!” Kise finished and finally let go of the giggle he was holding back. Murasakibara and Midorima looked unamused and Akashi only raised an eyebrow with the slightest amused grin. Kuroko joined Kise in gigging while Aomine and Kagami burst out into a full laugh.

“Ahoy there boobs!!!!! I should try that one out sometime!” Aomine said between laughs.

“Put a magazine in your pants while you’re at it!” Kagami added.

“Shiver me ducks! That’s so lame!” Aomine retorted right back at Kagami.

“I didn’t know what it would say!!”

“How many times must I remind you all this is a hospital?” Midorima muttered.

“Daiki, Taiga. Quiet down!” Akashi ordered, effectively quieting the two loud mouths, although they both continued giggling.

“Can we do another one, Kise-kun?” Kuroko asked with a pleading look.

“You should get some rest, Tetsuya.” Akashi tried, but Kuroko shook his head.

“One more. Please?”

“Alright. One more. Find another one Kise.” Akashi ordered. Kise, Aomine, and Kagami had to keep from laughing again at how easily Akashi gave in to Kuroko. Even Midorima looked slightly amused.

“Okay okay. I got one. Are you ready?” Kise grabbed all their attention and they nodded.

“Okay. Let’s go the other way this time, so starting with you Murasakicchi. A verb ending in ‘ing’”

“Eating.”

“Kurokocchi, adjective.”

“Soft.”

“Akashicchi, same thing.”

“Deadly.”

“Sei-kun…”

“It’s an adjective.”

“Fine.”

“Kagamicchi pick a plural noun.”

“Why always a plural noun? Fine. Um. I don’t know. Ducks.”

“You can’t use the same thing Kagami-kun.” Kuroko complained.

“He must have a thing for ducks.” Aomine teased earning a glare from the tall red head.

“Fine. Uh. Basketballs.”

“Kaga-chin doesn’t have much of an imagination.”

“Moving on.” Kise interrupted before they could continue on. “Midorimacchi, adjective.”

“Unlucky.”

“Mido-chin doesn’t have much of an imagination either.”

“Aominicchi. Person in room.”

“Huh. Oh um….Akashi.” Aomine grinned mischievously earning a deadly glare from Akashi.

“Don’t kill me.” Kise pleaded before continuing. “Murasakicchi, plural noun.”

“Cupcakes.”

“Now who doesn’t have an imagination?” Kagami grumbled but was ignored.

“Kurokocchi! Place.”

“Gym.”

“Akashi, adjective.”

“A nice on this time, Sei-kun.” Kuroko glared at Akashi who relented.

“Okay. Fluffy.”

Aomine burst out laughing and Kise giggled. “Did Akashi just say fluffy!?” Aomine blurted out.

“Aomine-kun, you shouldn’t laugh at Sei-kun.” Kuroko warned and Aomine gulped.

“Uh…..”

“Don’t hurt him Sei-kun.”

“I won’t. I’ll just be calling his coach later.”

“Sorry Aomine-kun.” Kuroko apologized. Aomine gulped and didn’t respond.

“Okay. Next is Kagamicchi with a celeb.”

“A celeb, hmmm. Britney Spears.”

“Kagamicchi likes Britney Spears??”

“Absolutely not! That’s all I could think of!!” Kagami defended almost too eagerly. Kise raised an eyebrow but continued.

“Midorimacchi with a noun please.”

“Pen.”

“Okay. Aominicchi, plural noun.”

“Boobs.”

“Can’t you think of something else!?” Kise whined.

“Nope.”

“Fine. Adjective for Murasakicchi!”

“Tasty.”

“ugh. You all are hopeless. Kurokocchi, please give me a good plural noun.”

“Fish?”

“That’s just random. Akashicchi, plural noun please.”

“Scissors.”

“I should have guessed. Kagamicchi, noun, and you can’t say duck or basketball!”

“Fine. Butt.”

“Seriously!! Midorimacchi. Plural noun please…..”

“Hmmm…wagons.”

“That’s so random!!!!” Kise complained.

“Isn’t that kind of the point Kise-chin.”

“Fine. Okay. Here I go. Espionage is the formal word for eating. In the shadowy world of spies, a soft organization like the US government uses spies to infiltrate deadly groups for the purpose of obtaining top-secret basketballs. For example, spies might have to crack the code for accessing confidential, unlucky files, or their mission could be far more dangerous like stealing the key ingredient for making Akashi’s award winning Explosive Fudgy Cupcakes. Spies are found all over the gym but they are not allowed to reveal their fluffy identities. A teacher, Britney Spears, or even the little old pen, with the cane and fifteen pet boobs who lives next door to you could be a spy. The world of spying might seem glamorous and tasty but it’s filled with risks and fish! Sure, spies have a never-ending supply of supercool electronic scissors, but they can’t trust any butt-which is why the number one rule of spies is to keep friends close-and wagons closer!”

“Sei-kun makes Explosive Fudgy Cupcakes? Why does that seem so possible?” Kuroko giggled earning a deadly glare from Akashi, although it was only half-hearted as he grumbled for Kuroko to shut-up.

“Yep. Some Explosive cupcakes with electronic scissors. Go figure!” Kagami chimed in.

“Don’t worry Aka-chin. I would still eat your cupcakes!”

“I don’t think that would be very wise Murasakibara-kun.”

“Awwwww” Murasakibara pouted.

“Alright. That’s enough. Time to get out. Tetsuya needs his rest.” Akashi ordered.

Everyone gathered their things and said their good byes and headed out.

“You could have let them stay a bit longer Sie-kun.” Kuroko pouted once they were all gone. Akashi pulled him close and kissed his cheek.

“No. You need your rest. You’re looking a bit pale.”

“I always look pale.”

“I need to talk to you about something anyway.”

“I thought I needed to rest?”

“You do. But it can wait a minute.”

“What is it then?”

Akashi took a breath. “I have to go back to Kyoto for a few days. That means I won’t be here for a few days.”

Kuroko closed his eyes and nodded. “I’ll be okay.” He said, although it wasn’t very convincing. “May I rest now?”

Akashi knew that meant Kuroko was upset but didn’t push any further. He pulled the smaller boy close and the bluenette fell asleep a few moments later.


	6. Tragedy Strikes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment if you want  
> I appreciate your comments

Akashi slid out of bed early the next morning and greeted Midorima at the door.

“Thanks for coming Shintaro.” Akashi whispered.

“I was already here with my father anyway.”

“Still. Taiga said he would be here by noon. Apparently something came up.”

“That’s fine, but are you sure this is a good idea? Kuroko…..”

“I know. I don’t have a choice and I can’t take him with me. It’s just for a few days.”

“Still….even with you here…he barely eats most days and.....”

“He said he would be okay.”

“And you trust him?” Midorima raised an eye brow.

“Not really. Like I said, I don’t have a choice. Just watch over him. I’ll be back no later than Thursday.”

Midorima nodded and Akashi went back to the bed to kiss Kuroko good bye.

“S…sei-kun.” Kuroko whispered groggily still half asleep since it was only 5 A.M.

“I’m here.” Akashi replied taking the smaller boys hand.

“You’re leaving?”

“Yes. I have to go now. Shintaro is going to stay with you for a while till Taiga gets here okay. Be good for me while I’m gone.” The red head gently squeezed Kuroko’s hand and used his free hand to cup Kuroko’s face as he gave him another kiss. “I Love you. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“I love you too Sei-kun.” Kuroko replied.

“Go back to sleep.”

“Hai.”

Akashi grabbed his bag and gave Kuroko another kiss before leaving. Midorima took a seat in the corner and dozed off.

Most of the day passed uneventfully. Midorima tried to talk to Kuroko when the bluenette woke up, but Kuroko barely replied and so he gave up. It was quite obvious that Kuroko was not okay, but there was nothing he could do. He tried suggesting that Kuroko call Akashi, but Kuroko only smiled sadly and said he didn’t want to be a bother. Midorima didn’t push. At noon. Kagami arrived and Midorima left.

Kagami tried to start a conversation as well, but failed. When dinner arrived, Kuroko refused so Kagami decided it was finally time to call Akashi.

“Taiga? What’s wrong?” Akashi answered the phone.

“He’s depressed and he won’t eat.” Kagami growled.

“Hand him the phone please.”

“Kuroko, Akashi wants to talk to you.” Kagami handed Kuroko the phone.

“Hai?” Kuroko answered quietly. Akashi sighed.

“You need to eat your dinner.” He commanded.

“Hai.”

“I love you Tetsuya.”

“Hai.”

“Hand the phone back to Taiga please.”

“Hai.” Kuroko returned Kagami’s phone.

“He’s not going to eat.” Akashi informed the taller red head.

“I thought I heard you….”

“He only said that to shut me up. Let him be for tonight.”

“But…..”

“Just let it be.”

“Hai.”

“If he’s still like this tomorrow. Call me.”

With that Akashi hung up.

“Kuroko…….” Kagami tried again. He knew if the bluenette didn’t listen to Akashi, it was hopeless, but he had to try. He sat down on the bed and rubbed Kuroko’s back. “Akashi wants you to eat and so do I.”

“Please just go away Kagami-kun.”

Kagami sighed and stood up. “I’ll be back tomorrow. Sleep well.” The red head left without noticing the tears in the smaller boys eyes. As soon as he was gone, Kuroko cried.

He knew he had no reason to cry and he felt selfish, which only made him more upset, but he couldn’t help it. There were too many negative thoughts swirling around in his mind. He was thankful when sleep finally claimed him.

Tuesday proceeded much the same as Monday. Kuroko was quiet and distant. Nothing changed until Kagami left for lunch and Kuroko’s cell rang. He didn’t pick it up. It rang again and he ignored it again. The third time, he looked at the caller ID.

“Africa” he read. Only one person would call him from Africa. He hurriedly clicked the answer button.

“Hello?”

“Kuroko Tetsuya?” The man on the other end asked. It wasn’t his fathers voice, but he recognized it.

“Ihejirika?” Kuroko asked, the confusion evident in his voice. Why was his fathers partner calling him? Calls were expensive.

“Hai. Tetsuya,” The man spoke cautiously. He wasn’t Japanese so he always used Kuroko’s first name.

“Is something wrong?” Kuroko interrupted uneasily.

“Hai. Your father…..I have some bad news. Your father, he’s gone.”

“I….I don’t understand.” Despite the broken Japanese, Kuroko understood every word, but surely Ihejirika didn’t mean gone like that…..

“I’m sorry kid. We were on an assignment and it got out of hand. They will be sending someone to inform you in a few days, but I thought it best if you heard it from me first. I’ll be in Japan soon, but the messenger will probably get there first.”

“He’s…..he’s dead?” Kuroko asked.

“I’m sorry.”

“No. This is a joke right?”

“It’s not.”

“He can’t be….I….no…”

“I’m so sorry.”

“How? How could you let him die?” Kuroko’s voice was quiet and monotone but Ihejirika knew he wasn’t calm.

“The assignment we were on. Three of our men got caught in crossfire. They were shot. One of them was your father.”

“Was it quick?”

“Huh?” The man had met Kuroko a few times before so the calmness in his voice and the questions didn’t surprise him as much as they might someone else, but he hadn’t expected the kid to ask for details.

“Did he die quickly? Did it kill him instantly?”

The line was silent for a moment and Kuroko thought maybe the man didn’t understand but Ihejirika was trying to decide whether to lie or tell the truth. He decided on the truth, since if Kuroko found out he lied, it could make things worse.

“No.”

“No what?”

“It wasn’t quick.”

“Was he alone?”

“No. I was there with him the whole time. And so was Bishan. We were both there.”

“Thank you. Thank you for being with him.” Kuroko hung up the phone before Ihejirika could respond.

His father was dead. He was never coming back.

Kuroko watched the door for a moment to make sure no one had heard and would come busting in. When he was sure, he pulled the phone cover off of his phone and placed into his hand the only thing that could help him now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you the happiness wouldn't last


	7. Relapse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Graphic depictions of self harm. It's not really that bad, but if you are sensitive to that stuff then just be careful.
> 
> IMPORTANT: To skip the more detailed stuff, skip the first part and start reading after the line.

Kuroko placed the sharp shining piece of metal in his hand. He had kept it hidden all this time for the moment he would truly need it. He was glad he had resisted the urge all those times before. Now, when it really mattered, he had his blade.

He checked the sharpness of it by pressing the tip into his finger, pleased when it easily broke the skin. It hadn’t dulled a bit.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew it was wrong. He knew he shouldn’t be doing this. Akashi would be mad. Kagami would be mad. They all would. He was supposed to be better now. But he pushed all those thoughts into the farthest and darkest corners of his mind where they wouldn’t bother him. The blade was his friend and his only salvation. That was all he needed to know.

He placed the cold metal to his arm and pressed down hard. With a deliberate carefulness, he pulled it across his skin. Instantly, warm blood began to seep out of the fresh wound and a calming feeling flooded his mind. There was a voice, clear as day, telling him to press down again. Drag the blade across his skin again. Any reservations he might have had, any fears or regrets, were swept away by the voices whisper. As if he was in a trance, he pressed the blade down next to the first cut and pulled it across, watching as the blood bubbled up and flowed out. He was going too deep, but he didn’t care. He couldn’t stop. He pulled it across again. And again. And again. And again. And again. And again.

 He didn’t notice the insane grin that crept onto his face or how soaked the sheets were becoming with the red liquid. He wouldn’t have cared if he had noticed. This was right. It felt right.

He pressed the blade into the first wound he had created. It stung. He didn’t care. He pulled the blade across, making the deep cut even deeper and let a small manic chuckle escape his lips. He was pathetic. He was stupid. He was nothing but trash. Oh, how he longed for this. This pathetic being who sought refuge in the lines on his arm was who he was. It was all he could be.

Then there was a flicker. A thought crept its way to the foreground of his mind. Why stop at his arms?

Still in that trance like state, he brought the razor to his neck. He pressed gently, just testing it out. He dragged the metal across with just enough force to create a scratch. He placed the blade back at the starting point and pressed a little harder before dragging it across. This time, a few drops of blood were drawn and quickly mixed with the tears he was completely unaware of.

* * *

 

“STOP!!!!!!” Kagami screamed as loud as he could, jarring Kuroko from his daze. The read head was as white as paper as he stared at the small bloody figure in the bed. A nurse behind him was screaming for the doctor as she pushed Kagami aside, but she quickly halted in her tracks.

“D….don’t come any closer…..or….or I’ll do it….” Kuroko’s voice shook as he pressed the blade into his neck again drawing a few drops of blood.

“O…..oi….K…kuroko….” Kagami stuttered unsure of what to do. This was the second time he saw his shadow covered in blood.

Dr. Midorima and his son were suddenly behind him and the doctor was staring at the scene and mentally cursing himself. Midorima caught Kagami before the latter could collapse. He dragged the red head aside and pulled out his phone.

“I’m calling Akashi.” Midorima whispered to his father as he stepped away from the room with Kagami. The rest remained frozen in place.

“Shintarō?” Akashi answered the phone on the first ring.

“A….Akas….hi…. It’s K…Kuroko…”

Akashi froze. He could only imagine a few possibilities that would cause Midorima to stutter like that.

“Shintarō! What’s going on!?”

“He has a razor…..He’s all cut up….it’s at his throat…he’s threatening…..if anyone gets close….Akashi…..you have to do something.”

Akashi cursed as he felt his world crash beneath him. He knew Kuroko was upset about him leaving, but not enough to go this far. Something set him off.

“Shintarō, listen to me carefully.” Akashi did his best to maintain his calm and keep his voice steady. “I need you to put me on speaker phone where he can hear me. Can you do that?”

“Hai.”

Shintarō took a deep breath and went back to the door way. Everyone was still frozen in place.

“Kuroko.” Shintarō got Kuroko’s attention and pressed the speaker button on his phone before holding it forward. “Akashi wants to talk to you.” He informed Kuroko. “You’re on speaker Akashi.”

“GO AWAY!” Kuroko screamed at the phone. Akashi took a deep breath to steady himself.

“KUROKO TETSUYA!” Akashi shouted in the most commanding voice he could. A flash of fear crossed Kuroko’s face but he didn’t reply.

“I ORDER YOU TO PUT DOWN THE RAZOR THIS INSTANT!” Akashi continued.

“NO!” Kuroko retorted.

“TETSUYA!” Akashi warned. “PUT IT DOWN NOW! DON’T YOU DARE DISOBEY ME TETSUYA!” The red head held his breath after he finished. If Kuroko didn’t obey, he wasn’t sure what he could do. As he waited for the reply, he hastily wrote a note on a piece of paper to his butler to get the helicopter ready. He was going back to Tokyo as soon as the call finished.

Everything was silent for a moment. Then there was a tiny voice Akashi couldn’t make out.

“I can’t hear you Tetsuya.” Akashi announced in a much softer tone.

“He’s gone Sei…..He…..He’s gone…..”

“Put the razor down Tetsuya. Please.” Akashi wasn’t sure who “he” was or what “he’s gone” meant, but he was thankful that Kuroko was speaking to him. He could hear the audible release of held breaths on the other end and assumed Kuroko had dropped the razor.

“I’m sorry Sei-kun…..I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Kuroko cried.

“I’m coming back Tetsuya. I’ll be there soon. Let the doctors take care of you. I love you Tetsuya.”

Kuroko didn’t reply as Dr. Midorima quickly confiscated the fallen razor and handed it to the nurse. Shintarō removed Akashi from speakerphone and stepped outside so he wouldn’t be in the way.

“Is he okay?” Akashi asked after Shintarō told him he was off speakerphone. His voice sounded completely exhausted.

“It looked pretty deep but my father is attending to him now.”

“Do you know what he meant when he said “he’s gone?””

“No. I only arrived when the nurse called my father.”

“Alright. Thanks for calling me. Text me and keep me updated. I should be there within the hour.”

“Are you coming straight to the hospital?”

“Of course.”

Shintarō hung up and looked down at the traumatized Kagami sitting on the floor. He crouched down and took the red heads hands.

“Kagami! Look at my eyes.” He instructed and the red head obeyed. “It’s okay. Kuroko is going to be okay.”

“I came too late again….he was bleeding…..I was too late.” Kagami looked away as the tears flooded his eyes. Seeing Kuroko like that again was too much.

Shintarō shook his head and pulled Kagami up from the floor. Still holding one of his hands, he dragged the red head to his father’s office where he could have some privacy. Once they arrived, he sat Kagami on the couch and gave him an opened bottle of water.

“Drink.” The greenette ordered as he pulled up a chair to sit in front of Kagami. “You weren’t too late. Not the first time and not this time. He’s still alive isn’t he?”

“But…..I shouldn’t have left him alone.” As another thought occurred to him, his eyes widened and he set the water aside and buried his face in his hands. “Akashi is going to kill me!”

Shintaro shook his head. “Kuroko isn’t even on suicide watch anymore and you aren’t expected to skip lunch just to keep an eye on him. It wasn’t your fault.” He pulled Kagami into an awkward hug as comforting someone like this was definitely not within his comfort zone, but he couldn’t just leave the guy like this.

After a minute, he pulled away and looked at Kagami in the face.

“Go home. I’ll wait with Kuroko till Akashi gets here.”

“But….”

“Go. You look like hell.”

Kagami nodded and stood. After taking a moment to collect himself, he left. Shintarō took a moment to collect himself as well before heading back to Kuroko’s room.


	8. Messenger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just updating like mad sheesh!  
> My hand hurts so I should really stop....or not.  
> Yay! Update!  
> Comment if ya like.  
> Sorry it's not the most interesting chapter in the world.

Akashi typed a quick text to explain the situation to his father before pocketing his phone and leaning against the wall. It would take a few minutes to get the helicopter ready. He let a single tear escape his eyes before pushing the rest back down. How many times had he felt his world collapse from nearly losing the one he loved? It was too much but he couldn’t cry right now. He needed to get to Kuroko. He needed to be strong to Kuroko’s sake.

It took less than half an hour to reach Tokyo but every minute felt like hours to Akashi. As soon as the helicopter landed on the hospital roof, he jumped out and met Dr. Midorima who was waiting by the elevator.

“How is he?” Akashi shouted over the noise of the retreating helicopter. Dr. Midorima ushered him into the elevator before replying.

“He lost a lot of blood. We gave him a transfusion and stitched up the cuts on his arm. He’s unconscious right now.”

“Did he say why he did it?”

“Nothing that anyone could make out.”

“I see.”

The doctor led him to Kuroko’s room and left with Shintaro so the two could have some privacy. Akashi approached the bed cautiously, as if moving too fast might break the frail figure in front of him. The bluenette was paler than before and an oxygen mask rested on his face. The sheets had been replaced and crisp white bandages wrapped around Kuroko’s left arm and neck with the slightest tinge of red. He was asleep, but he didn’t look peaceful.

“T….tetsuya….” Akashi whispered to the quiet room as he sat on the edge of the bed. He took the smaller boys right hand and, although he tried not to, he cried. “I’m so sorry Tetsuya….I’m so sorry…”

“S….Sei-kun….” Kuroko whispered. Akashi quickly wiped his eyes and pulled the smaller boy into a hug.

“I’m here Tetsuya. I’m here.”

“S….Sei-kun…..He’s gone….” Kuroko began crying again but continued. “Otou-san is dead…he’s gone.”

Akashi was shocked, but he held Kuroko closer and rubbed his back soothingly. “I’m so sorry. I should have been here for you. I’m so sorry.”

“He’s gone….”

“Shhh.” Akashi repositioned so they could both lay down on the bed and held the bluenette to his chest. After a while, the sobs turned to whimpers and sniffles before disappearing as exhaustion claimed Kuroko again.

Once he was sure his lover was asleep, he untangled himself and stepped outside to find Shintaro and Midorima-san waiting outside.

“His father is dead.” Akashi stated blandly as he headed towards a chair and slumped down. He felt exhausted and helpless.

Both greenettes followed him and took seats as well.

“I thought his father was in another country.” Shintaro stated after a moment.

“He can still die in another country.” Akashi scowled.

“But how did Kuroko find out?”

“He must have received a call. Does he have any other relatives?” Midorima-san asked. Both boys shook their heads.

“As far as we know, Kuroko’s father was all he had. His mother passed away when he was really young and he never mentioned any other family.” Shintaro added.

“He’s in no condition to handle this….If he is the only living relative, he will be responsible for handling the funeral arrangements and everything else.”

“I don’t think that should be our biggest concern doctor!” Akashi glared at the doctor. “I and the Akashi family can handle such things for him if need be. His mental state is far more concerning, or did you both forget he tried to kill himself again only hours ago!”

Midorima and Shintaro flinched but composed themselves quickly.

“I didn’t mean to sound insensitive.”

“Too late. I know. You were concerned about the responsibilities he would face making things worse. I shouldn’t have lashed out. Thank you for everything so far.” Akashi stood and gave a slight bow to the doctor before turning back to Kuroko’s room.

“Akashi…..” Shintaro whispered as he watched his friend.

The messenger arrived the next day. Kuroko wouldn’t speak so Akashi took over.

“I’m afraid I don’t even know what sort of business Tetsuya’s father was in. Perhaps you could enlighten me.” Akashi whispered to the man as they sat in the corner of the room where they wouldn’t disturb the sleeping bluenette. They spoke in English since the messenger only spoke limited Japanese. Akashi was fluent in both so it was no problem.

“Kuroko Hiroki was a photographer. His team has been on assignment in Africa for the past six years photographing the multiple disputes and wars of the various countries of Africa. Their current work was photographing some incidents belonging to the South Sudan-Sudan Border Conflict. Perhaps you have heard of it?”

“Only that it’s regarding oil.”

“Yes. Although religious differences between the involved parties have not failed to create even further problems. One of the disputes between the two parties involved turned unexpectedly violent and the chaos was beyond expectations. Three team members were shot and two died, including Hiroki.”

“I see.” Akashi thought for a moment before continuing. “What interest does the Japanese media or government have in such conflicts?”

“They don’t. Kuroko Hiroki does not work for the Japanese media or government. Our organization is affiliated with the U.N. technically. I’m afraid I can’t tell you any more than that though.”

“I see. Well I thank you for your explanations.” Akashi gave the slightest bow. “I assume you didn’t come all the way to Japan to simply tell Tetsuya of his fathers death.”

“No.” The messenger replied as he pulled out a vanilla file folder and a packet of papers. “The folder contains Hiroki’s will, his certificate of death, and various important documents. I suggest Tetsuya get a lawyer to sort things out since Hiroki left his will and other issues in the organizations hands instead of a lawyer.”

Akashi took the folder and eyed the packet of papers. “And those.”

“Ah. Forms. Consent for the body to be returned to Japan and a waiver of liability stating that Tetsuya received the documents in the folder and accepts them. These need to be signed today.”

Akashi took the papers and stood up. “I don’t know if that will be possible, but I will try.”

“Actually,” The messenger cut him off before he could walk away, “given his circumstances, I think it would be okay if you signed for him. I can tell he isn’t well.”

The red head eyed the messenger carefully looking for anything suspicious and returned to his seat when he was satisfied everything was okay. The man was just being considerate. Akashi was grateful. He accepted the pen and scribbled Kuroko’s name in the necessary spots, but only after thoroughly reading through each page. He then returned them to the messenger. “Is that all?”

“Yes. Thank you for your time.” The messenger stood and gave a small bow towards Akashi and another towards the sleeping Kuroko. “I’ll see myself out.” Akashi nodded and watched the man leave before settling on the bed again and pulling Kuroko close.


	9. Request

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the comments and support so far! I couldn't do this without you all.  
> Enjoy.

“Tetsuya….you need to eat. You haven’t eaten in five days. Just please. Even just a few bites.” Akashi pleaded with his lover, but as usual, his words were met with nothing but silence. He knew Kuroko was hurting. He understood that. But the silence was deafening and Akashi was getting extremely worried. Kuroko wouldn’t talk. He wouldn’t eat. He had nightmares every time he slept. And all Akashi could do was watch the one person he loved most in the world slip away from him…..again.

He wiped the tears from his eyes and gently rolled Kuroko onto his back so the two could see eye to eye.

“Please…I’ll do anything Tetsuya…please….” Akashi begged again, but Kuroko looked away.

“Kill me.” The bluenette whispered. Akashi froze. It was like someone had stabbed him in his heart.

“Huh?”

“Y…you said you’d do anything…so kill me.”

“No.”

“I SAID KILL ME!” Kuroko suddenly screamed.

“I can’t do that.”

“YOU’RE AKASHI SEIJURO. YOU’RE ABSOLUTE. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING. SO KILL ME!” Kuroko screamed, something he didn’t often do. It terrified Akashi to hear those words, to be asked such a favor. He was horrified.

Akashi pulled Kuroko into his arms and hugged him as tight as he dared while Kuroko struggled against him, hitting him and scratching him. Kuroko wasn’t strong enough to do any damage and even if he did, Akashi was not letting him go.

“Please calm down Tetsuya. I won’t kill you.”

“I WANT YOU TO! YOU SAID YOU WOULD DO ANYTHING!”

“Anything but that, Tetsuya. I need you. I love you. I won’t kill you.” Akashi held the bluenette even tighter as tears streamed down his face.

“YOU LIE..Y….you’re just like him….you lie…” Kuroko stopped flailing and slumped in Akashi’s arms sobbing. “He lied too. He said he loved me. He said he would come back. We would be a family again. I’m all alone now……I don’t want to be alone.”

“Tetsuya…you’re not alone. I’m right here. You have me and you have lots of friends who care about you. You’re not alone.” Akashi pressed the help call button and continued to hold Kuroko as the latter continued to beg.

“You’ll leave me too…please…just kill me….you said you would do anything…….”

“I’m sorry Tetsuya.” Akashi apologized as a nurse put a sedative in Kuroko’s IV. It worked almost instantly and Kuroko went limp. Akashi laid him down and pulled up the covers before thanking the nurse and stepping outside. He didn’t bother to go any further than the hall outside the room before breaking down.

“A….Akashi?…..Akashi! What’s wrong?” Aomine nearly shouted as he rushed over with Kise right behind him. They had come to visit as usual when the navy haired teen spotted their ex-captain sitting on the floor of the hallway sobbing into his knees.

“Akashicchi?” Kise hesitated. Aomine crouched down beside the red head and pulled him to his side. After a moment, Kise sat on the other side of Akashi and started rubbing his back comfortingly. “Akashicchi…what happened….?”

“I…..I can’t….he….I just….he asked…” Akashi chocked out between sobs. Kise and Aomine looked at each other worried and waited for him to continue, which he did after a minute or so. “He was begging me to kill him….and….I don’t know what to do anymore….”

Aomine and Kise were silent. They weren’t sure what to do either. Akashi was the one who always had the answers…or at least that’s how it was supposed to be. If he didn’t have the answers….

Akashi’s sobs began to die down and the three just sat there against the wall silently. No one paid them any mind.

“Kise, get him some water.” Aomine ordered the blond, still holding on to Akashi. Kise nodded and hurried to the nearest water fountain, filling a paper cup, and returning. He handed it to Aomine who nudged Akashi till the red head lifted his head. Aomine placed the cup to his mouth and Akashi drank it in one gulp.

“Th…thanks.” He said as he buried his face back into his knees. He was feeling embarrassed for his display of weakness, but it didn’t really matter at that point. “If you tell anyone about this…..” He stiffened and threatened under his breath.

“We won’t. Right Kise?” Aomine glared daggers at the blond.

“H..hai…w…won’t tell a soul.” Kise stuttered like a frightened child. Akashi relaxed and let his head fall on Aomines shoulder in a very un-Akashi-like gesture. Kise sat back down and sighed leaning against the wall.

“Kurokocchi is going to be okay you know. It’s not the first time he’s been down.”

“It’s worse this time.” Akashi sighed and closed his eyes. He was exhausted. He barely slept anymore since he was always worried about Kuroko.

“When’s the funeral?” Aomine asked quietly.

“Wednesday. Four days from now.” Akashi whispered.

“Will Kurokocchi be okay to go?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore….”

“Akashi….” Aomine let his sentence trail off as he looked down at his friend. He began noticing how worn out Akashi was looking, an unusual sight for sure. There was something that worried Aomine. It worried the others as well. What if all this stress causes the other Akashi to come back? Akashi said he had control and the two of him worked things out, but this had to be one of the worst experiences to go through. Seeing how tired the red head was, it worried him. He looked up to see Kise giving him a look. Kise was thinking the same thing. They needed to do something. It would be bad if Akashi lost control and it would probably kill Kuroko…..and at this point, they were convinced if Kuroko died, Akashi would too; by his own hand or from grief.

Looking back at Akashi, he realized the red head had fallen asleep. Without disturbing him, he pulled out his phone and texted Kise so Akashi wouldn’t hear.

[To: Kise

From: Aomine

Message: Find Dr. Midorima. Ask for a room for Akashi. If he asks why, just tell him.]

Kise looked at the message and nodded before running off. A few minutes later, the blond returned with the green haired doctor.

“Follow me.” Dr. Midorima instructed. Aomine nodded and carefully picked Akashi up and followed the doctor. The red head must have been more exhausted than they realized because he didn’t even stir.

Luckily, there was an empty room just down the hall and Dr. Midorima said they could place him in there.

“I can tell he isn’t taking proper care of himself just looking at him. I’ll get a nurse to give him a sedative and IV fluids. We will let him sleep till tomorrow.” The doctor spoke once they were out of the room.

“What about Kurokocchi…..if Akashi isn’t there….”

“We will keep him sedated as well. It might be best to keep someone with him still. He’s had nightmares a lot lately.”

“I’ll stay with Tetsu.” Aomine announced.

“I’ll stay with Akashicchi.”

“No you won’t. The last thing he needs is to see your bright and overly cheery face when he wakes up.”

“But I want to help too.” Kise whined.

“Then stay with me and Kuroko.”

“Who will stay with Akashicchi then?” Kise pouted and then whispered. “I’m worried about leaving him alone too…even asleep.”

“Is Midorima here?” Aomine asked the doctor who nodded. “Then perhaps he can wait with Akashi. Akashi finds him less annoying out of all of us…with the exception of Tetsu of course.”

“Akashicchi doesn’t find me annoying!!”

“Yes he does. Uh, do you know where Midorima is?” He looked back at Dr. Midorima.

“He’s in our library.”

“Okay. I’ll just text him the details then.”

“Alright. I’ll leave you all to it then.” Dr. Midorima nodded and left while Aomine sent a quick text to Midorima. The greenette replied a moment later agreeing to the task.

“Alright. Let’s go dummy.” Aomine pulled on Kise’s arm and they returned to Kuroko’s room.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was sad to write....
> 
> Btw, I'm thinking of starting another story either where Kuroko is abused by his parents (I've wanted to do this scenario for a while but it's been done a lot) or where Kuroko is an assassin sent to kill Akashi. It would be akakuro either way because I'm obsessed. I need to get over this obsession sheesh.


	10. He

Akashi opened his eyes and looked around the unfamiliar room until his sight landed on his green haired friend.

“Shintarō?”

“Morning.”

“Where am I?” Akashi slowly pushed himself up to a sitting position. “What’s going on?”

“Aomine and Kise had you admitted last night.” Midorima answered slowly.

“For what!?”

“Looking like hell, according to Aomine.”

“That’s not a medical condition, Shintarō.” Akashi glared daggers at Shintarō.

“Fine. Over exhaustion, fatigue, whatever you want to call it.”

“What about Tetsuya?” Akashi asked almost afraid of the answer. It looked to be late morning or early afternoon, judging by the sun.

“We kept him sedated and Aomine and Kise spent the night with him. Akashi, we need to talk.”

“About what.”

“We’re worried about you.”

“Tetsuya is the one you should be worried about!”

Shintarō gritted his teeth and tried to swallow his growing frustration as he met Akashi’s angry glare with one of his own. “We’re worried you aren’t taking care of yourself.” He kept his voice quiet but the intensity remained. “What about your condition. Stress can exacerbate it you know. What happens if _he_ comes back? What happens if you lose control again? Kuroko is in no condition to bring you back to your damn senses this time!” Shintarō ended with a growl.

Akashi stared at him, his initial surprise at the subject turning into anger. “That won’t happen, Shintarō.” He established firmly.

“You can’t be sure of that.”

“I can!” Akashi nearly shouted, his anger rising. He wasn’t in the mood for this. He didn’t like talking about this in the first place, but especially not right now.

“How do you know?” Shintarō crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat clearly not expecting Akashi to be able to answer.

“Because _he_ and I both care for Tetsuya. Because we already worked things out.”

“ _His_ existence exists to protect you though, protect you from what you can’t handle.”

“Which _he_ does by protecting Tetsuya. I know _he_ is a danger to Tetsuya. So does _he. He_ won’t come out. It would kill Tetsuya if _he_ showed up, which would hurt me.”

Shintarō looked a bit shocked but he nodded. He stood and went around the bed to remove the IV from Akashi’s arm when a phone rang.

“Where’s my phone?”

“Beside you.” Shintarō pointed to the phone on the bedside table and Akashi picked it up. The caller ID read Akashi Masaomi.

“Father? To what do I owe the pleasure?” Akashi answered the phone.

“I thought you should know I have finished going over Kuroko Hiroki’s will and the other legal documents. There are no problems.”

“Thank you father.”

“How are you holding up? How is he?” The voice on the other end sounded unusually carring and sincere throwing Akashi off. His father was usual cold and business like even with his own son. Even when Akashi told him about his and Tetsuya’s relationship and when he asked his father for help after Tetsuya’s father passed, he had kept things short and businesslike….well minus the initial argument after the first bit of news.

“I didn’t think you cared.” Akashi replied coolly, earning a strange look from Shintarō who had finished removing the IV.

“You are my son and he is your…..your lover. Of course I care. You are both going through something very difficult. I do worry you know.”

“You spoke to mother.” Akashi responded dryly.

“Yes.”

His mother must have scolded his father about being too cold again. He knew his father probably did care…maybe, but it was usually his mother’s doing if he ever showed it.

“We are both doing fine.” Akashi answered firmly.

“Don’t lie to me son.”

“What do you expect me to say father?”

“The truth would be nice.”

“The truth?” Akashi was almost starting to sound slightly hysterical.

“Seijūrō dear?” His mother’s voice called.

“I’m fine mother, father. I have to go.”

“Seij…” Akashi hung up before they could finish and pulled his knees to his chest.

“Akashi?” Shintarō asked cautiously as if he might blow up a mine, which he very well might.

“I’m fine.”

“No you’re not.”

“I’m fine.”

“Akashi…..”

“I’m going back to Tetsuya.” Akashi swung his legs over the bed, thankful his clothes were still on, and left the room before Shintarō could say anything.

Akashi was not fine. Kuroko was not fine. None of them were fine. And none of them knew what to do about it.


	11. Goodnight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw, my new KnB story is up. It's an assassin au titled Deadly Shadows in case you want to check it out. And yes, the title sucks.
> 
> Anyway.....Thanks for all the comments so far. I'm looking forward to the new ones already!!
> 
> Btw, if there is something you want to see in this or another story, you can ask. I may or may not comply though. Also, if you have any questions, feel free to ask. 
> 
> And again, I try to keep things pretty realistic both medical and tradition wise (although the latter is probably a major fail....) but if anything seems off to you whether you know for sure it's wrong or just think it might be, please let me know. It would be a big help.
> 
> Okay. I'll stop talking now so you can read what you clicked to read in the first place!

“Tetsuya, it’s time.” Akashi woke the sleeping bluenette. It was Wednesday, 8 A.M., day of the funeral. Of course, Tetsuya didn’t reply. He hadn’t spoken since Saturday and he still hadn’t eaten. Akashi wondered if he even had the strength to reply sometimes, but it was no use asking.

“Come in Daiki, Taiga.” He called and the two mentioned teens entered. Both were already dressed in suits and Kagami carried a spare suit while Aomine pushed a wheel chair with a portable oxygen tank attached. They dressed Kuroko in the suit and Akashi placed him in the wheel chair.

“Is that everything?” Aomine asked shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

“Think so.” Kagami replied and lightly ruffled Kuroko’s hair. He half hoped the boy would get mad, but he remained expressionless as ever.

“Let’s go then.” Aomine held the door open and Akashi pushed the chair into the hall way with Kagami behind. The rest of the GOM was waiting for them in the hall while the rest of Seirin would meet them at the cemetery.

Beside the GOM stood four men, Hiroki’s team, who had just flew in from their post in Africa. Akashi had spoken to Ihejirika on the phone and informed them where to meet with Kuroko.

“You must be Kuroko-sans team, correct?” Akashi addressed the four men. A black man dressed in what Akashi assumed was some type of African attire stepped forward and bowed.

“Yes. I am Ihejirika, the one you spoke to on the phone. I assume you are Akashi?” Ihejirika spoke after straitening. He spoke in English since not all of the team spoke fluent Japanese. Only Hiroki’s team, Akashi, Midorima, Kagami, and Kuroko could actually understand what was being said. Kagami quietly translated for the other members of the gom.

“Yes. And you are?” Akashi answered in English as well before throwing the other three men a questioning glance. The shortest of the men, Bishan from India, stepped forward and introduced himself with a bow as well.

“I am Bishan.”

“My name is Hadrian.” A man with a French accent bowed next.

Last was a German man who bowed more hesitantly before speaking. “Kasimir.”

Akashi nodded and bowed slightly in return.

“Where is Tetsuya?” Ihejirika asked. To everyone’s surprise, it was Kuroko who answered.

“Hai. Here.”

The group looked down at the boy in the chair and did their eyes widened. Akashi had given them the basics, but it was different in person. After a few minutes were wasted to process it all, Ihejirika walked up to Kuroko and bowed at a full ninety degree angle.

“I’m so sorry Tetsuya. Your father was a wonderful man and a great co-worker. Believe me when I tell you we all miss him dearly.” As he spoke, the other men bowed deeply, although they didn’t get on the ground. Kuroko shook his head while Akashi told the man to straighten. Kuroko reached out his hand which Ihejirika took in his own.

“Thank you for staying with him. And thank you as well Bishan-san. Ihejirika-san said you were with him too.” Kuroko let the tears fall as he squeezed the African man’s hand. Bishan nodded.

“Dr. Midorimacchi is here” Kise announced, drawing the attention away from the prior situation and giving Kuroko a moment to compose himself.

“Are we ready to go?” Dr. Midorima asked and they all nodded. They made their way to the limos waiting outside and got in. No one spoke during the ride and Kuroko took the time to rest in Akashi’s lap.

“We’re here.” Akashi announced as he woke the sleeping boy in his lap. Kuroko nodded. They were greeted by Seirin who had arrived a few minutes prior. A few whispers spread among the team since many of them hadn’t seen Kuroko since the game. Riko silences them with one evil glare though and it was silent again.

They made their way to the tent where the proceedings would occur. Since Kuroko was the only family member and didn’t want to sit alone, Akashi, Kagami, and Aomine sat in the front row with him. Hiroki’s team took the second row and the rest of the GOM and Seirin took the remaining rows. Dr. Midorima took a seat in the very back so he wouldn’t be in the way.

 “I guess it’s a good thing we came.” Hyūga whispered to no one in particular. Kiyoshi and Riko who were next to him nodded.

“It’s just us, the GOM, and I’m guessing his coworkers.” Kiyoshi observed. “It’s kind of lonely since only five people here even knew the man.”

“Hush guys. It’s about to start.” Riko hissed and they all went silent.

The priest began and Kuroko gripped Akashi and Kagami’s hands tightly. It was a short speech and no Eulogies were given since Kuroko wasn’t strong enough and no one else felt like they could. Once the priest stepped aside, it was the chance for the viewing. Akashi pushed Kuroko up to the casket followed by Ihejirika, Bishan, Hadrian, and Kasimir.

“Sei-kun….” Kuroko whispered and looked up at the red head. “Could you help me stand?”

Akashi nodded and placed his arm around Kuroko. Kuroko’s body shook despite barely holding any of his own weight and dizziness hit him like a giant wave. As it passed, the bluenette bent over till his lips touched his father’s eyelid. He placed a gentle kiss on it and then on the other eyelid, the way his father did for him at bed time when he was little. As he pulled away, his lips curled into the tiniest of smiles despite the tears in his eyes.

“Good night Otou-san.” He whispered almost inaudibly. He caressed his father’s cheeks with his free hand for a moment before turning to Akashi who placed him back in the chair. Akashi whispered a quiet thank you to the man and wheeled Kuroko away.

After those who wished to view had finished, Ihejirika, Bishan, Hadrian, Akashi, Kagami, and Aomine picked up the casket. Kasimir was injured so he couldn’t carry it. Akashi took one of the front positions in Kuroko’s place and Midorima pushed Kuroko’s wheel chair. The rest filed in behind and they made their way to the grave site.

The rest was quick since the clouds above were beginning to break. The casket was placed in the ground and everyone threw in a handful of dirt. The priest said a few more words and then it was over.

As everyone else walked away, Akashi stayed with Kuroko by the grave.

“We can stay as long as you want Tetsuya.” Akashi told the crying bluenette. Kuroko shook his head.

“It’s starting to rain.” Kuroko commented.

“I have an umbrella.” Akashi pulled out a black umbrella from under the chair and opened it.

“We shouldn’t keep the others waiting though.”

Akashi tilted Kuroko’s chin so they were looking eye to eye. “Tetsuya. If you aren’t ready to leave yet then we won’t. We will stay as long as you need to. It’s not about them or me, it’s about you.” He spoke sternly earning a small sad smile from his lover.

“Thank you Sei-kun. Perhaps a few minutes longer please.”

“Of course. Take your time.”

They stayed motionless for a while watching the men fill the hole with dirt. The rain fell as if mirroring Kuroko’s tears. It wasn’t until the hole had been mostly filled up that Kuroko nodded to Akashi that he was ready to go.

“Good bye Otou-san…” Kuroko whispered as he was wheeled away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was kind of hard to write. Hit a bit close to home and all but I mostly like how it turned out. I chose a more christian/american style funeral since it was simpler than trying to get the customs right for a Japanese funeral. Since his father works overseas in this story and some funerals are done that way in Japan, I figured it would be okay.


	12. Conflict

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ooo now we are getting somewhere. But where I wonder?  
> Comments are appreciated!

“Akashi, may I see you in my office?” Dr. Midorima asked once they had returned to the hospital and Kuroko had been put back in his room. Akashi nodded. Kuroko had some test done the day before so the doctor probably wanted to talk about that.

They walked in silence till they got to the doctor’s office and they took their usual seats.

“I got the test results back from yesterday.” Dr. Midorima began.

“I figured as much. It’s not good news judging by your expression and the fact you brought me here to tell me.”

The doctor shook his head and handed some papers documenting the results to Akashi.

"No it's not. His lung, heart, and brain function are decreasing. His wounds aren't healing and regulating his body temperature is getting harder. If he doesn't start eating again, I will have no choice but to start him on a gastronomy tube instead of the NG tube. The NG tube was only meant to be temporary in the first place and only provides supplemental nutritional support. The gastronomy tube is a last resort since it carries a lot of risks, but it's been ten days since he's eaten, he's lost weight again, and his condition is nearing the point where the damage will no longer be reversible. We long passed the point where he can come away from this without life long complications, but if things don't change soon, he won't survive long enough for that to matter."

"He's going to die if we don't do something quick." Akashi summarized and looked down at the papers in his hands. He felt like he was going to be sick from the fear coursing through him. "I'll make him eat. He can hate me for all I care. If he won't eat tonight, then do it. Put it in." Akashi raised his head and met the doctor's eyes with a fierce glare. "Do whatever it takes. Please."

Dr. Midorima nodded and Akashi stood, crushing the papers in his clenched fists and forcing his legs to carry him outside the office. He found Kise and Shintarō outside the door, obviously eavesdropping by their expressions.

"Kurokocchi's going to…" Started as soon as Akashi closed the office door. “DON’T SAY IT!” Akashi ordered and the blond immediately stopped talking.

“Akashi…you didn’t have to…” Shintarō started but was cut off as well.

“DON’T. I’m not in the mood!”

“Akashicchi……”

“Akashi….don’t do anything stupid.”

Akashi growled and grabbed Shintarō by the collar. “I. am. Not. In. the. Mood. If you have anything else to say, save it.”

“Your eye.” Shintarō pointed out calmly. Akashi glared at him then realized what he meant. He was losing control. He took a shaky breath.

“Forget it.” Akashi let go of the greenette who shook his head.

“I know your upset but…”

“I said forget it Shintarō. I’m sorry. I need to go.”

“Is there anything we can do to help Akashicchi?”

“Get some soup or porridge from the cafeteria and bring it to the room.”

“Yes sir.” Kise replied quickly and dragged Shintaro away.

Akashi took another breath and leaned against the wall.

“You can’t come out.” He whispered to himself. “If you do…”

“ _If I don’t, he might die anyway since you seem incapable of saving him.”_ His other self replied.

“I’m doing the best I can.”

“ _You’re not. You could have forced him a long time ago. You wanted to be the nice guy though.”_

“What good would forcing it do? It would just upset him.”

_“We could fix that after he wasn’t dying anymore!”_

_“_ First off, there is no we. You don’t get near him. We agreed on this. Second of all, neither of us could fix anything if he refused to talk to us….unless you were going to suggest using force because that’s all you know how to do.”

_“Tcht. Fine. Then we could just let him hate us. He wouldn’t be dying then.”_

“You really are an idiot.”

_“I’m you.”_

“You sound like a little kid with that comeback. Just shut up and let me handle this.”

_“Fine. If he dies, I’m taking over.”_

“I won’t let that happen.” Akashi snarled and pushed himself off the wall. He wasn’t going to let Tetsuya die and he wasn’t letting the other him take over. That was final.

By the time he got back to Kuroko’s room, Kise and Shintarō were already standing there with a bowl of porridge.

“Are you better now?” Shintarō asked cautiously. Akashi nodded and took the porridge.

“You two can go now.” Akashi ordered and stepped into the room. He gestured Aomine, who had been watching Kuroko to leave then turned his attention to Kuroko who was surprisingly awake and staring at the bowl in his hands with displeasure.

“I’m not hungry.” Kuroko whispered once Aomine had left the room. Akashi sighed and sat on the bed.

“I didn’t ask.”

“I won’t.”

“Tetsuya.” Akashi warned but Kuroko ignored him and turned away. The red head sighed and put the bowl on the table. “Tetsuya, it’s been ten days. You’re going to die if you don’t eat.”

“Good.” Kuroko mumbled.

Akashi took a deep breath. Kuroko felt a stinging sensation in his cheek and looked back at Akashi. His cheek hurt terribly. Akashi had slapped him.


	13. Progress in Porridge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like my alliteration for the chapter title? Huh?  
> Okay, it's 5A.M. so I hope this is okay. I'm going to bed ya'll cuz I'm tired.  
> Comments are great ly appreciated! K!
> 
>  
> 
> CHAPTER 12 WAS UPDATED BY THE WAY. JUST SOME STUFF IN THE FIRST HALF!!

“S…Sei….kun…” Kuroko stutters wide-eyed as he places a hand on the cheek that was slapped. It doesn’t feel real.

And once again, Akashi is crying. Akashi is crying for him. Because of him. Akashi is crying and Kuroko doesn’t know what to do.

“S…Sei…”

Akashi pulls him into his arms before he can finish. “I..I love you Tetsuya…I love you and I can’t lose you. You’re my world. I don’t ever want to give you up. Not to another person. Not to this disease. Not to death. I’d give you the whole world if I thought it would make you eat even just a bit.”

“Sei….”

“Let me finish. I’m a selfish person Tetsuya. I want to be with you for the rest of my hopefully long life. I want to grow old with you. I want to see your smile every day and feel you next to me every night. If you die…..there will be nothing left of me. My world will be gone. And if you don’t eat…you will die.”

The two sat holding each other crying after Akashi finished. Kuroko didn’t know what he wanted to do, but when Akashi pulled away and looked into his eyes, he realized something. He was hurting the one person left that he loved and he didn’t want to. His father was gone, but Akashi was still here.

“I…I’m sorry….I’m sorry…I’m sorry…” Kuroko repeated as Akashi pulled him in for another hug.

“It’s okay. Shhh. I know. It’s okay.” The red head whispered. “I forgive you.”

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry…”

“Tetsuya…..I said I forgive you…” Akashi pulled away and lifted Kuroko’s head to make eye contact as he spoke firmly. “I forgive you. Just please. Please eat.”

Kuroko looked away with a tiny nod and Akashi whispered a quiet thank you before hugging him again.

“Is porridge okay or would you prefer something else?” Akashi asked after allowing Kuroko and himself a few more minutes to calm down.

“I…I don’t mind….but…”

“But what?”

“It’s probably cold….”

A small smile tugged at Akashi’s lips as he unwrapped his arms from around Kuroko. “Then I will get you a fresh bowl. Does that sound better?”

Kuroko nodded. Akashi kissed his forehead and picked up the bowl and opened the door, nearly knocking three teens over. He scowled and shut the door.

“Eavesdropping? Do you have a death wish?” Akashi hissed in a whisper as he fixed Kise, Aomine, and Kagami with a deadly glare.

“I told you all it was a bad idea.” Shintarō said from his place on the other side of the hallway leaning against the wall. Akashi threw him a murderous glare as well.

“Shintarō, you are just as guilty for not stopping them.” Akashi informed him with an icy cold tone.

“Have you ever tried stopping three idiots?” Shintarō raised a brow.

“As a matter of fact, I do it quite often.”

“Please don’t kill us Akashicchi! We were only curious!”

“It was Kise’s idea!” Both Kagami and Aomine pointed at the blond.

“Wha!!!!!? Was not!!! Aominicchi said…” Before Kise could finish, Aomine clamped his hand over the blonds mouth and looked at Akashi guiltily.

“Ryouta, go fetch a new bowl of porridge.”

“Ehhhh…but what about…”

“It’s cold Ryouta. Now go.”

“Yes sir.” Kise pouted and ran off like a dog with its tail between its legs.

“Daiki, Taiga, Shintarō.” Akashi called their names with a terrifying calmness. “I’ll be calling your coaches later. Now scram!”

“H…Hai.” The three mentioned teens nodded and left quickly.

Kise returned with the new porridge and hot tea ten minutes later and Akashi re-entered the room. He placed the bowl and cup down on the table and took a seat on the bed before pulling the blue haired teen into his lap.

“Are you comfortable?” Akashi asked after wrapping the blanket around Kuroko.

“As comfortable as I can be with _that_ in the room.” He glared at the porridge. Akashi chuckled ever so slightly at the honest answer and lifted the spoonful.

“You don’t have to eat all of it.” Akashi reassured, but Kuroko grimaced. He took the first bite and swallowed before adding his reply.

“I don’t want any of it….”

“I know. But eat half okay?” Akashi pleaded as he lifted another spoonful.

“I’ll try.” Kuroko took the bite and rested his head on Akashi’s chest, letting the steady beat of Akashi’s heart soothe him. Akashi smiled and continued feeding him and Kuroko closed his eyes. After a while, Akashi told him he could stop if he wanted since half the bowl was gone and Kuroko nodded letting out a sigh.

“Sorry Sei-kun…..for everything I mean.” Kuroko whispered with his eyes still closed. Akashi kissed his lips briefly before assuring him it was okay.

“Have you….have you ever lost someone…someone close to you, Sei-kun?” Kuroko asked quietly.

Akashi hesitated for a moment. It wasn’t something he cared to talk about, but for Kuroko, he would.

“I lost my mother.” He responded equally quiet. Kuroko opened his eyes and furrowed his brow.

“I thought she was alive….?”

“That’s my step-mom. My father remarried several years ago. She’s a nice enough woman and I like her I suppose, but…she isn’t my mother and she can never replace her.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.” Was all Kuroko could think to say.

“It’s okay.”

“If you don’t mind….How did she die?”

“Illness.” Akashi held Kuroko a little closer as he continued. “It wasn’t sudden. It was sort of expected.”

“What did it feel like? You don’t have to tell me but….” Kuroko asked, closing his eyes.

“I don’t mind. It hurt a lot initially, and then it was as if I didn’t believe it. I would half expect to see her when I came home from school, but of course, she wasn’t there. Then I was numb for a bit but I would cry or find myself angry at random times. The first year was the hardest. It got better after that.” Akashi explained the best he could.

Silence stretched between the two teens until Kuroko shifted a bit and buried his face in Akashi’s shirt.

“Is something wrong?” Akashi asked with worry.

“My head hurts Sei-kun…” Kuroko whispered.

“Do you want me to get a nurse?”

“I want to sleep…but it’s so cold.” Kuroko’s voice was muffled by the shirt but Akashi managed to make it out.

“I’ll grab some more blankets okay?” Akashi lifted Kuroko off his lap and grabbed two spare blankets from one of the cabinets. He wrapped Kuroko in one before placing him back on his lap and pulling the second one over both of them. “Is that better?”

Kuroko nodded and tried to snuggle closer, although that wasn’t really possible. Akashi stroked Kuroko’s hair and the bluenette hummed slightly enjoying the feeling.

“Rest.” Akashi whispered. “I love you Tetsuya.”

“I….lo…ve….you…too…S…ei-k..un…” Kuroko groggily returned as he fell into sleep. Akashi smiled down at the sleeping male in his arms and continued stroking his hair.

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw, if you didn't know already, I updated chapter 12 recently so there is a bit more to it.  
> This chapter is far too short but after staring at it for two days, I'm going to post it and move on. I think I'm going to skip some time between this chapter and next chapter.  
> Anyways, I would love to hear your thoughts on the story so far so if you have time...

Akashi held Kuroko and tried to get some rest as well but his mind kept replaying parts of his conversation with the doctor earlier.

“ _Lifelong complications.”_ Akashi remembered. Dr. Midorima said there would be some, but not what they were and Akashi had been too preoccupied to ask. Now that his mind had time to wander, the possibilities were frightening.

His talk with Kuroko about his mother was also bothering him. His mother had died from an illness, and while Kuroko’s illness was different, it wouldn’t be all that surprising if it claimed his life. Akashi didn’t know why the thought hadn’t occurred to him sooner. Now that it did, he felt the anxiety rising in his chest. Closing his eyes, he pushed the thoughts back and calmed his breathing when he felt someone’s gaze.

He looked down at the shivering bluenette bundled in his arms and realized soft blue eyes were staring at him.

“Tetsuya, I thought you were asleep.”

“Hai. I was.”

“Are you still cold?”

Kuroko nodded. “A bit.” He admitted, snuggling his face back into Akashi’s chest.

Akashi frowned. With warm pajamas, sheets, and four blankets, he shouldn’t be cold. The room wasn’t cold. Kuroko seemed to read his mind.

“It’s okay Sei-kun. I’m always cold.” He tried to reassure, but only worried Akashi more.

“That’s not normal you know? You really do need to eat more. You’re too thin.”

Kuroko nodded. “I’m not that thin and I don’t like food. But I’ll try.” He covered a yawn.

Akashi furrowed his brow while narrowing his eyes and he clicked his tongue at Kuroko’s response. He didn’t like the first part at all. They should probably talk more about that, but not right now. Instead of replying, Akashi moved Kuroko off his lap and began unbuttoning his shirt to Kuroko’s surprise and confusion.

“S…Sei-kun? Wh….what are you doing?” Kuroko stuttered as Akashi pulled his shirt off and then removed Kuroko’s.

“I’m warming you up.” Akashi informed in a matter of fact way leaving no room for protest. With both their shirts off, he pulled Kuroko back onto his lap and pressed their bare upper bodies together. He pulled the blankets over top of them and wrapped his arms around the bluenette. Cheeks beginning to flush, Kuroko buried his face into the crook of Akashi’s neck. Akashi was so warm. His touch was like fire melting the ice covering Kuroko’s body and Kuroko soaked up the warmth eagerly pressing as much of his skin against the red heads firm chest as possible.

Akashi could feel a small smile forming on Kuroko’s face and he smiled to, although it was a sad smile. Without their shirts, he could feel his boyfriends’ bones more clearly, which always worried him. They were far too defined.

“This is warmer right?” Akashi asked. Kuroko nodded without removing his face from its place in the crook of Akashi’s neck.

“Hai……Thank you.” The bluenette whispered softly while resting his eyes.

“It’s nothing, but you should have said something sooner Love.” Akashi replied inspired to try out the nickname. He wasn’t even sure Kuroko noticed it until he felt Kuroko trying to bury his face even deeper into Akashi’s shoulder.

“What was that for Sei-kun?” Kuroko tried to hide his embarrassment and growing blush.

“I thought it sounded nice. I can’t call you Love?” Akashi responded with a teasing note in his voice and Kuroko shook his head.

“You can, I just didn’t expect it.”

“That was the point.” Akashi smiled to himself and ran a hand through Kuroko’s hair.

“You’re mean.” Kuroko pouted into the red heads shoulder playfully. Akashi laughed.

“Would you prefer darling? Or cupcake perhaps?”

“De ja vu. I believe we have had this conversation before Sei-kun.” Kuroko attempted to keep the amusement from his monotone voice and mostly succeeded. Only Akashi would notice it anyway.

“I believe you liked darling best.” Akashi teased.

“I did not.” Kuroko scoffed. “I said no to both!”

“But I can call you Love?” Akashi asked in a more serious tone, somewhat catching Kuroko off guard.

“I suppose.” The bluenette relented. He turned his head and placed a small kiss on Akashi’s jaw and this time it was Akashi who was caught off guard. Kuroko wasn’t the one to initiate kisses. He was about to ask Kuroko about it, or something like that, when he realized his boyfriend had fallen asleep.

“You fall asleep too quickly….Love.” He muttered under his breath adding the new nickname after a second of hesitation.

His fingers carefully brushed the blue strands from Kuroko’s forehead and he placed a kiss in the middle before shifting and falling asleep himself.


	15. Going Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Finally getting somewhere.  
> Let me know what you think! :D

Kuroko’s condition improved a bit over the next two weeks, although dinner times were usually a fight. Akashi and Dr. Midorima had at least convinced him to drink a liquid meal supplement (in vanilla flavor) in the mornings, but dinner was usually a fight, sometimes a panic attack, and never simple. Some days he still refused to have anything. Most days though, he just fought against it.

Akashi sighed and rubbed his temples. Today was no different. Kuroko was set in stubborn mode. However, this time, Akashi had a secret weapon of sorts.

“Tetsuya.” He breathed out preparing himself as he looked at the bluenette curled up on the sheets facing away from him.

“Please don’t.”

“You don’t even know what I’m going to say.” He retorted with slight annoyance.

“There’s food on the table and your standing over me with that look on your face. I may not be as smart as you but I’m not THAT stupid.” Kuroko snapped in return.

“I was going to say you can go home tomorrow.”

“Huh?!” Kuroko turned around with his mouth agape.

“You can go home.”

“I don’t have a home any more……”

“With me. Are you sure you’re not THAT stupid?” Akashi teased a bit.

“Bakashi!” Kuroko shouted and pulled the sheets over his head although it was more playful than angry. Akashi should have been annoyed but found it cute and let out a small chuckle instead which made Kuroko curious. After a moment, curiosity got the better of him and he removed the blanket from his head. “What do you mean I can go home?”

“My father and Dr. Midorima have been working on making arrangements for home care for you. It can happen as early as tomorrow Afternoon.” Akashi explained as he took a seat on the bed and pulled Kuroko into his lap.

“What’s the catch?” Kuroko narrowed his eyes suspiciously. He hated the hospital. It just made him more depressed and it was hard for him to sleep well. He had mentioned it to Akashi and his lover had promised to get him out as soon as possible, but he didn’t think it would happen so soon. However, Akashi chose this time specifically to tell him this news. There was definitely a catch.

“There are some conditions.” Akashi admitted. “One. You must eat something every day, no matter what or how small, you are not allowed to miss a single day. Two. You must eat your dinner tonight and I mean all of it. And it must stay down. Three. If your condition worsens, you will have to come back.” He explained the conditions in his most serious tone. There were plenty of other things he would like to add, but he refrained. He didn’t want to push his boyfriend to make promises he couldn’t keep.

Kuroko stared blankly for a few moments. He wasn’t fond of the first two, but it could have been worse. He tilted his head to stare at the food on the table and couldn’t help the way he trembled. He didn’t want to eat it. He REALLY didn’t want to eat it. But he didn’t want to be in the hospital anymore. In the long term, he knew that stupid bowl of soup would be worth it, but that didn’t fix the short term. He couldn’t even explain why he was so terrified of it. He just was.

“It’s just a bowl of soup Tetsuya.” Akashi wiped some stray tears from Kuroko’s cheeks and waited patiently. It hurt to see his lover so upset, especially over a measly bowl of soup. It shouldn’t be that big of a deal. To most people, it wouldn’t be. It wouldn’t even count as a meal for most people. There wasn’t even any rice this time. It was just the soup. But it was a big deal and it was a full meal for Kuroko. Kuroko hadn’t finished anything in months. Even the supplement drinks; he always left a fourth of the liquid and refused to drink it.

After a few minutes passed and a few more tears fell, Kuroko nodded and repeated Akashi’s words as if he was trying to convince himself they were true. It was just a bowl of soup. Akashi repeated them again as well in a sort of confirmation and brought the first spoonful to Kuroko’s mouth. Kuroko accepted.

An hour later, the soup was gone, Akashi’s shirt had been removed because of a huge wet spot from Kuroko’s tears, and Kuroko was curled up on top of Akashi still crying and trembling. Kuroko begged Akashi to hold his hands to keep him from trying anything and Akashi complied.

Kuroko finished his food for the first time in a long time. It was a big accomplishment, but it didn’t feel that way to Kuroko. It was more like a nightmare. Eventually, the panic and tears drained the last of his energy and he drifted off into a restless sleep.

Akashi stayed awake for a while longer. A thought had occurred to him earlier and he was trying to recall how many times he had seen Kuroko finish a meal in all the time he had known the bluenette. He always claimed to have a small appetite and the only time Akashi remembered him finishing anything was when the portions were smaller than one might expect for a boy his age and as active as he was. And even then, it wasn’t often finished.

Akashi absentmindedly stroked Kuroko’s hair as he wondered whether things began before the Winter Cup and he never noticed it. Were their signs of the impending storm since their Teiko days?

He searched his memories for about an hour trying to decide if there had been signs all along. If he could have stopped this back then. It left him feeling uneasy but he eventually fell into his own restless sleep.

* * *

 

True to his word, Akashi took Kuroko home to his estate in Kyoto the next afternoon. Akashi, Kuroko, and Dr. Midorima, who came to help settle Kuroko in, were greeted by Akashi’s father, Akashi Masaomi, and Kuroko’s new live in doctor, Dr. Nakata. Introductions were brief since Kuroko was tired from the trip and needed rest.

Akashi carried Kuroko to the second floor and into the bedroom, specifically, Akashi’s bedroom.

“Why are we in your bedroom, Sei-kun?” Kuroko mumbled sleepily as he vaguely recognized his surroundings.

“Our room.” Akashi corrected confidently and laid the bluenette on the left side of the bed.

“Our?”

“Yes. Our room. You will stay with me.” Akashi confirmed as he moved to the other side to sit while the two doctors set up the IV and other necessary equipment.

“But I’ll be in your way.” Kuroko tried to protest, slightly more awake now.

“Nonsense.”

“What about your father?”

“He already knows. We’ve been sharing a bed for more than a month now Tetsuya. Now stop talking. You’re tired.” Akashi placed a quick kiss on the bluenettes lips to quiet any further attempts at protesting. Kuroko gave in and closed his eyes.

“He’s all set.” Dr. Nakata announced.

“We will be discussing things in the dining room if anything happens.” Dr. Midorima bowed to Akashi and left.

“I have a program on my phone that will alert me if the monitors pick up anything troublesome and my cell number is on the side table. I’m staying in the room two doors down. If anything happens….” Dr. Nakata let his words trail off.

“You will be contacted right away.” Akashi nodded as he finished the doctor’s thoughts. Dr. Nakata bowed as well and left.

Once it was just the two of them, Akashi pulled an extra comforter and blanket from the closet and placed it over Kuroko before turning on the heater in the corner of the room. With that done, he sat at his desk and began working on school assignments, training schedules for the basketball team, and answering emails. He would be returning to school soon now that he was back in Kyoto.

Kuroko slept the rest of the evening. Akashi decided against waking him for dinner since Kuroko had already had his supplement earlier and he looked tired. At 10 P.M., Akashi slid into bed next to him and the two slept the rest of the night peacefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason, this chapter left me feeling emotional a bit.....


	16. Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are loved and appreciated if you have the time!!!

“Here.” Akashi handed Kuroko his morning supplement drink. The blue haired teen grimaced but accepted and took small sips. He didn’t want to go back to the hospital after one day for breaking the first condition.

Akashi smiled satisfied with Kuroko’s acceptance and sat next to him on the bed. “There’s something I want to talk to you about if you aren’t too tired.”

“I just woke up, Sei-kun.”

“Yes, but you get tired easily sometimes. I was only checking.” Akashi sighed and pulled Kuroko against his side. “It’s about school.”

Kuroko paused mid-sip and looked up at Akashi. “School?”

“I’m giving you a choice.”

“A choice.”

“Stop repeating everything I say.” Akashi commanded and Kuroko nodded before continuing to sip his drink again. “Since you no longer live in Tokyo, you should transfer to Rakuzan. However, you can choose homeschooling if you would prefer. We don’t know when you will be well enough to return to school or when you will want to and you already do all your work from home, so if you want to be homeschooled, my father can arrange for it to happen. It’s up to you.”

“I don’t mind going to school with you. I’ll miss Seirin…but if I have you, it’s okay.” He sighed.

Akashi smiled and placed a chaste kiss on Kuroko’s lips. “Then I will have the paperwork filled out for you.”

“You already did Sei-kun.” Kuroko accused with a blank expression, however those who knew him well could hear the annoyance in his voice. “You knew what I would choose. I can tell.”

Akashi let out a small chuckle and poked the bluenettes nose. “You are correct.” He confirmed. “I knew.”

“You are supposed to ask before, not after.” Kuroko mumbled under his breath. He returned his half-finished drink to Akashi who gave him a disapproving look. He ignored it.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not going to finish it just because you apologize.”

Akashi rolled his eyes at his boyfriends’ attitude. “I didn’t think you would. That wasn’t why I apologized. Get some rest, okay?” Akashi stood and moved toward the door.

“Where are you going?”

“For a jog. I won’t be gone long. Shall I send in one of the staff to keep you company?” Akashi looked at Kuroko worriedly. He probably shouldn’t leave him alone after eating, but Kuroko shook his head. After giving a warning glare, Akashi nodded and left. Just in case, he had one of the butlers stand outside the door before leaving.

Akashi took his normal jogging route which took about half an hour. When he returned, he was relieved when the butler outside said Kuroko was fine. He opened the door a crack and checked just to make sure and everything looked fine. Kuroko was asleep, or at least he seemed to be. He was proud of his boyfriend and made a note to reward him later. Kuroko might have known someone was outside the door, but that was irrelevant. He didn’t try anything. Akashi left him alone and he behaved.  

Akashi smiled and hummed as he went to one of the bathrooms attached to an empty guest room so he wouldn’t bother Kuroko yet. As he washed the sweat from his body he pondered what he could do as a reward. Obviously, food or anything involving food was out of the question. That narrowed the list of possible small rewards down considerably. Who knew how dependent people were on food related things as rewards? Kuroko’s physical condition narrowed the list even further. Akashi sighed. Perhaps he could buy him something? Except, Kuroko was never one who placed much value on material things.

As Akashi dried off and checked his phone, he thought of an idea and typed out a group text.

[To: Atsushi; Daiki; Kagami; Ryouta; Shintaro

Message: You will all spend this weekend in Kyoto with me and Tetsuya. Someone will pick you up from your practices Friday evening. ]

Clicking send, he wrapped a towel around his waist and went across the hall to silently sneak into his and Kuroko’s bedroom. Kuroko still looked like he was asleep so Akashi grabbed his clothes as quietly as possible and changed quickly. Wanting to let his lover get some more rest, he headed to his fathers office.

“Father.” He knocked and waited for his fathers reply before entering.

“Good morning Seijuro.” The older Akashi greeted still not looking up from his paperwork.

“Good morning father.” Akashi gave a small bow before settling into one of the chairs in front of Masaomi’s desk.

“How is Kuroko settling in?”

“He is fine.”

“When he feels up to it, I would like to speak with him.”

“Father.” Akashi used a warning tone. Masaomi looked up and met his sons glare.

“I assure you I’m not planning to hurt him Seijuro.”

Akashi answered with a raised eyebrow and a scowl. He wasn’t sure if he could trust his father or not. Yes, his father had accepted his relationship with Tetsuya. Yes his father had seemed genuinely concerned for Tetsuya’s wellbeing. Akashi still had his doubts. “What is it about?” He asked.

“Well I did just take the boy in and he is the one dating my only son. I would like to actually meet him and get to know him a bit. I would do it over dinner, but given the circumstances, that’s not a good idea.”

He had to admit, his father had a point. He did take Tetsuya in both giving him a place to live and becoming his temporary guardian till Tetsuya was old enough to no longer need one.

“I understand father. Would after lunch work? He’s usually upset after dinner.” The younger Akashi frowned while saying the last part.

“I will stop by the room after lunch then.” Masaomi declared like it was a business meeting not a chat with a teenager. “Now what did you come here for?” Masaomi went back to signing some papers as he waited. He knew his son didn’t just pop in to say good morning. They didn’t have that kind of relationship.

“I am planning to invite some of my and Tetsuya’s friends over for the weekend.”

Masaomi nodded. “That’s fine. Make sure to inform the staff so they can prepare.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course. Now go on. I have work to do.”

“Yes father.” Akashi stood and gave a small bow before exiting.

When he returned, Dr. Nakata was in the middle of checking up on the now awake Kuroko.

“Good morning doctor.” Akashi nodded to the man as he climbed on the bed next to Kuroko and took his free hand.

“Good morning Akashi-san. I’m just giving Kuroko a quick check up.” Nakata replied as he removed the instrument that measured blood pressure and shook his head. He placed the instrument back in the bag he had with him and pulled out an IV bag which he hooked up.

“How is he?”

“Not much change.” He replied before turning to Kuroko. “Did you have your drink this morning Kuroko-kun?”

Kuroko visibly stiffened slightly but relaxed quickly and nodded. “Hai.”

The doctor nodded and looked to Akashi for confirmation.

“He drank half.” The red head clarified matter-of-factly. Again the doctor nodded.

“If you need anything, let me know.” He added as he zipped up his bag and left the room. Once he was gone, Akashi shifted to meet Kuroko’s eyes.

“My father wants to talk to you in a little while. He might want to talk alone. Is that alright?”

Kuroko nodded. It wasn’t really a question anyways. If an Akashi wanted something, they tended to get it. If his father wanted to talk, then talk they would.

“Good.”

“Did you enjoy your run, Sei-kun?”

“Very much.”

“I’m glad.” Kuroko smiled as he snuggled back under the covers for warmth. Akashi smiled and stroked his hair.

“Would you like me to bring you a book to read or something?” Blue eyes sparkled at the mention of books and Akashi decided that meant yes. “Anything in particular?”

“Whatever you think is good Sei-kun.” Kuroko replied.

“Alright. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” Akashi placed a quick kiss on the bluenettes forehead and left the room. As he promised, he returned a few minutes later with a selection of books. “I brought a few so you could choose.” He explained when Kuroko raised his brows. He sat the books down on the bed where Kuroko could inspect them. After reading the summaries of each one, he grabbed “Great Expectations” by Charles Dickens.

“This one sounds interesting. Thank you Sei-kun. May I keep the others in here to read later?” He asked hopefully.

Akashi nodded and kissed Kuroko before ruffling his hair. “Of course Love. I need to get some work done now okay.”

“Mmhmm.” Kuroko hummed as he had already opened the book when Akashi pulled away. Akashi chuckled a bit before going to his desk and beginning some assignments. After a while, lunch was called and Kuroko didn’t even notice Akashi slip out of the room or when he returned with his father.

“Tetsuya. Could you put the book down please?” Akashi requested with an amused smirk standing beside the bed. Kuroko looked up in surprise and quickly apologized when he saw Masaomi.

“Ah. I’m sorry. I didn’t hear..”

“It’s fine.” Masaomi put up his hand to stop Kuroko. “We haven’t been formally introduced. I’m Seijuro’s father, Akashi Masaomi.” The man gave a nod.

“K..Kuroko Tetsuya, sir.” Kuroko replied and did his best to bow properly from his seated position.

“There is no need for that.” Masaomi put his hand on Kuroko’s shoulder to stop him after seeing the painful look on the boys face as he attempted the bow.

“Yes sir.” Kuroko nodded instead.

Masaomi took a seat in a chair Akashi set out for him beside the bed and examined Kuroko with his eyes. The bluenette was thinner than he initially thought and looked exhausted. His eyes were bright blue like his hair and his face was mostly expressionless with the exception of his eyes. The man did his best to smile kindly, although, like his son, that wasn’t something he did often.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you Kuroko Tetsuya. Would you prefer to be called Kuroko or Tetsuya?”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well, sir. Either is fine sir.”

“Then I shall call you Tetsuya.” Masaomi declared, ending the matter. “Do you feel up to talking for a short while?”

“I don’t mind. Ano….I’d like to thank you for everything you have done! I am very grateful! I have no way to repay your kindness but…” Kuroko again tried to bow before he was, again, stopped by Masaomi.

“There is no need for that.”

“Yes sir.” Kuroko mumbled awkwardly.

“Tetsuya. Do you love my son?”

Kuroko’s cheeks flushed and even Akashi, who had been leaning against the door frame for the whole conversation, blushed.

“F…father!”

“I do!” Kuroko blurted before Akashi or Masaomi could say anymore. The red of Akashi’s cheeks deepened another shade. Realizing what he just admitted, Kuroko wished he could go crawl under a rock. He wasn’t sure if Akashi’s father was really okay with them being together or not, especially since they were under the same roof now. However, Masaomi smiled.

“Then that is reason enough for me to help. I think that is enough talking for today. Rest well, Tetsuya.” Masaomi stood and left the room. Akashi made his way over to Kuroko and sat beside him still blushing slightly.

After a moment of silence, Akashi brought Kuroko’s head to rest on his thigh and pulled the blankets to the bluenettes chin. “Rest.” He ordered in a gentle tone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to update all my Kuroko no basket stories today considering todays date....but this is probably the only one I will manage to churn out before midnight..... sad face :(


	17. Weekend Visit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have some news for you all! A few things actually. One, I've started the abuse story I mentioned a while back. It's called The Fragile Phantom. Two. I'm starting another Kuroko eating disorder story that takes place in Teiko. It will be titled Weightless Phantom (I haven't posted it yet). Third. Updates for some stories might be a little less frequent for a while. There's some other stuff going on right now, but I'll still update as frequently as possible. Four. I forgot what the fourth thing was............
> 
> Anyway...I hope you enjoy this chapter and I'd love to hear your thoughts as always!!!!! Love ya all! Hope you are having an amazing day!

~Saturday~

Kagami and the generation of miracles, including Kuroko, were sitting in the living room watching the TV when the maid came in to call them for dinner. Other than Akashi and Kuroko, everyone stood uneasily. Akashi shifted and was about to help Kuroko get comfortable lying on the couch when Kise’s hand wrapped around the bluenettes wrist.

“Kurokocchi…come with us…” He pleaded with his puppy dog expression. Of course, Kuroko’s muscles tensed as did the muscles of nearly everyone in the room. Aomine and Kagami wanted to know what the damn idiotic blond was thinking asking such a thing and were ready to slap him upside the head for such an insensitive request. They all knew how uncomfortable even being around food made their small friend. Akashi was already glaring at Kise with a murderous glare. He was ready to kill the blond if his lover got upset. Murasakibara didn’t notice any of it though as he was almost out of the room already. Of all of them, he understood the least about the situation. He knew better that to ask something like Kise had done, but he didn’t quite get why. Midorima was just inching farther away to avoid whatever bloodshed might be drawing near.

To say the room was tense was an understatement. Kuroko’s quiet agreement to join them went unnoticed the first time.

Realizing they weren’t paying attention, Kuroko grabbed Akashi’s hand with his free one and squeezed it. “I’ll come….” He repeated in a shaky voice.

All eyes were immediately on him and he shrunk back into the cushions. Akashi lifted the bluenettes chin and established eye contact as he searched Kuroko’s eyes.

“You don’t have to.” Akashi reminded sternly after a moment but Kuroko shook his head.

“It’s okay…I….I don’t m….mind.” He stuttered. He actually did mind, but his mouth seemed to utter words without his brains permission and for some reason, his brain refused to protest by correcting his mouth.

Akashi hesitated for another moment before breaking eye contact. “Daiki! Wheel chair.” He commanded. Aomine obeyed and the wheel chair was by the couch in a matter of seconds. After placing his lover in the seat, he placed a chaste kiss on his trembling lips and whispered. “Will you eat with us?”

Shakily, Kuroko nodded and Akashi ordered Midorima to inform the kitchen staff. Inside, Akashi was overjoyed that Kuroko was agreeing to eat with them. He would have been happy even if Kuroko had refused to eat and only agreed to sit with them. However, Kise would still be punished later.

Akashi sat at the head of the table with Kuroko beside him. On Kuroko’s other side was Kise. Aomine took a seat next to Kise and the other three sat on Akashi’s other side with Midorima across from Kuroko, Murasakibara across from Kise, and Kagami across from Aomine. Everyone remained tense at first as they placed food on their plates and Kuroko stared uneasily at his little bowl of porridge. All the smells were threatening to send his mind into panic mode but he held his ground. He didn’t want to ruin dinner for the others by crying.

 The others threw nervous worried glances his way sporadically as they began on their own meals. He didn’t want them to worry so he took a deep breath and grasped Akashi’s hand underneath the table tightly to prepare himself. Ignoring Akashi’s concerned reaction to the sudden gesture; he lifted the tiniest spoonful of porridge to his lips.

As if on cue, the whole room relaxed and erupted into a comfortable chatter. Aomine and Kagami managed to start an argument within a matter of seconds, though it mostly consisted of calling each other idiots instead of any solid content. They eventually managed to drag poor Kise into the middle of it all and Kise eventually pulled Kuroko into the argument as well. Akashi and Midorima were discussing something Kuroko couldn’t quite understand, though the red heads hand never left his. Murasakibara was content to focus on his food until he also got dragged into the completely pointless argument started by Kagami and Aomine. Surprisingly enough, Akashi just ignored the banter. He figured it would be a good distraction for his lover and therefor let it be. It wasn’t long before even he and Midorima were also pulled into the ridiculousness though. By the time the dessert was brought out, the whole table was wrapped up in various arguments all at once that had long ceased to make any sense. However, it was familiar and comfortable. Kuroko managed to finish a little more than half his porridge before giving up. It took him almost as long as it took the others to eat their entire dinner plus dessert, but there was no rush. In the end, he even accepted a couple bites of Akashi’s ice cream, even if they were almost too small to be considered bites.

After dessert they retired to the living room again and decided to watch a movie. They let Kuroko decide who picked The Ring a horror movie to Akashi, Kagami, and Kise’s dismay.

“You sure you don’t mind Sei-kun…?” Kuroko asked as he pointed to the movie on the screen.

“Of c…course not. I said you could choose didn’t I?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure you won’t be scared Kurokocchi!?” Kise asked even though he knew the answer. Kagami butted in before Kuroko could reply.

“Oi….Kuroko…you know it’s a horror movie r…right?”

“I won’t be scared Kise-kun. Yes I know it’s a horror movie, Kagami-kun. Don’t tell me you’re scared of horror movies too.”

“I…I’m n..not scared of h..horror movies!!” Kagami retorted.

“Hahaha! Bakagami is afraid of horror movies!”

“Shut up Ahomine!”

“Bakagami is afraid of horror movies. Bakagami is afraid of horror movies. Bakagami is afraid of horror movies!” Aomine taunted.

“Kise is afraid too!!!” Kagami called Kise who only nodded not bothering to deny it.

“Akashicchi is afraid too.” He added, to which no one said a word. They knew better, even if the great and terrifying Akashi being afraid of horror movies was laughable.

“Eh. Can we have popcorn?” Murasakibara broke the silence.

“Go ask one of the staff. You remember where the kitchen is?”

“Yes Aka-chin. I’ll be right back! Does anyone else want anything?”

“Tell them to bring us some drinks.” Akashi ordered as he clicked the movie from the Netflix list. “I’ll take tea.”

“I want pop!” Aomine chimed in.

“Tea for me too please, Murasakabaracchi. With milk!”

“Tea for me as well please.” Midorima added with a push of his glasses.

“Uh…juice I guess?” Kagami shrugged. He wasn’t in the mood for tea.

“What about you Kuro-chin?”

“I’ll take tea as well, Thank you Murasakibara-kun.”

The giant nodded and left the room. Once he returned with a maid carrying the drinks and popcorn, they all huddled under blankets together with their drinks and popcorn and began the movie. Kise screamed multiple times while clinging to one side of Aomine. Even Kagami hid behind the teen man in fear twice, although he would never admit it. Aomine found the movie hilarious. Midorima flinched once or twice but ultimately watched with a bored expression. Murasakibara was more into his snacks than anything else. Akashi fidgeted and flinched despite trying to appear completely unfazed. His reactions resulted in a giggling Kuroko several times before Kuroko fell asleep.

When the movie was over, Akashi and Kuroko retired to their room. Kise and Murasakibara took one guest room, Kagami and Aomine took another, and Midorima took a third for himself. Overall, it was a good day, and the next two days proceeded similarly. Kuroko spent most meal times at the table even if he didn’t always eat. The rest of the time was spent playing games and watching movies. When it was time for the visitors to leave, Kagami reassured Kuroko that Seirin understood why he had to transfer but made him promise to come visit sometime. He agreed of course. With that, the weekend ended.


	18. School

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love to hear your opinnion as always!

Two months isn’t long enough to get used to waking up next to a skeleton, but then again, that isn’t something the mind is supposed to get used to. Akashi didn’t. He couldn’t get used to the cold skin or the ribs and hip bones jutting out. He couldn’t get used to rubbing Kuroko’s back and feeling like he was rubbing an old time washboard. He couldn’t get used to the way those bones felt pressed against his skin when he held his lover tight or how lifeless he seemed asleep. He couldn’t get used to seeing every bone when he helped him change or bathe. He couldn’t get used to how light Kuroko felt sitting on his lap as if he was hold a baby doll instead of a living breathing person. He couldn’t get used to watching Kuroko’s too weak body struggle with even the simplest tasks. Those just weren’t things someone can get used to and he didn’t want to. He didn’t want things to stay like this long enough for him to get used to it if that was actually possible. He would always love Kuroko no matter how much it hurt. He would love him no matter what he looked like or how ill he was.

No, he couldn’t get used to the skeleton in his bed. He couldn’t get used to it, but he usually pushed those thoughts aside. They didn’t help the situation. Crying over his lovers frail appearance wouldn’t make things better. If anything, it would just upset Kuroko. So he pushed those thoughts away and most days he could keep them away. There were days when his own depression got the better of him and those thoughts threatened to overwhelm him and tear him apart. There were days he blamed himself for Kuroko’s illness and days he blamed the world (though he never once blamed Kuroko). There were days he wanted to just give up because it felt so hopeless.

Then there were days he got angry. Really angry. He would wait till Kuroko was asleep and then go outside and punch or kick a tree or the punching bag in the gym. There were days he was angry at himself for not being able to protect Kuroko and days he was angry at the illness for not being a physical thing he could beat to a bloody pulp for hurting the one he loved. Yes, he was angry at an illness. He couldn’t be angry with Kuroko though. Not truly. Even if Kuroko was the one hurting what was most precious to him, Kuroko was also that which was most precious to him.

But most days he could push those thoughts and feelings away. He _was_ used to that. However, today he could not, and it wasn’t because he was depressed. He was worried.

Kuroko was eating every day and had finally managed to gain seven pounds (Although Akashi swore he couldn’t figure out where they were hidden). He wasn’t anywhere near being out of the danger zone, but he was doing better. But that wasn’t what worried him. At least, it wasn’t at the top of the list at the moment.

He was worried because he didn’t want to leave Kuroko alone for nearly a whole day. Of course, he wouldn’t be completely alone. Akashi’s father would be home and the servants would be around. The doctor was just down the hall too. He just wouldn’t be with Akashi.

Why?

Because Kuroko practically forced him to start physically attending school again. Something about them being back in Kyoto, needing to experience life instead of being cooped up with a sick guy, making sure the student council and basketball team weren’t up to no good and still knew what fear was, and some other nonsense that Akashi didn’t really care about. Yes school was important, but Kuroko was more important to him. He had made sure to attend practices the past week and showed up briefly at school for any tests or extra important matters. He didn’t see why he should go waste the whole day there though. Kuroko, however, disagreed. In fact, the bluenette was ready to pull out the threats if Akashi didn’t shut up and agree. What was he supposed to do? Kuroko was perhaps the only person who could beat him…and he did. Akashi agreed. So after two weeks of being back in Kyoto, he was finally going to attend school full time again. He wanted to wait till he could take Kuroko with him, but the doctor said it would be a few more weeks before that was even a possibility and Kuroko refused to let Akashi wait that long.

“Now make sure you rest. If you need anything, just ring that bell.” Akashi pointed to a bell on the side table. “And I mean anything. None of your ‘I don’t want to bother them’ bullshit. They are servants. You are supposed to bother them and…hey! Stop laughing! I’m being serious here!” Akashi glared at Kuroko.

“Sorry Sei-kun.” Kuroko apologized with barely an ounce of sincerity only made more obvious by the fact he was still giggling. “You just sound like such a mom. You’ve repeated yourself about ten times now. I will be fine. Do you need me to spell it for you?”

“Don’t be smart! I’m just worried.”

Kuroko sighed and rolled his eyes. “I’ll ring the bell if I need anything.”

“And that really does mean anything. I know how you are. No bullshit. Anything means anything.”

“Hai, hai. Servants exist to be bothered. I got it.”

“And if you need me, text, or even call. I don’t care what time it is. I’ll text you during every break to check up on you okay.” Akashi placed a quick kiss on Kuroko’s forehead as the latter nodded sarcastically.

“Hai. Now go to school mom.” Kuroko teased as Akashi was leaving.

“Tetsuya…..” Akashi growled.

“I said go. Shoo. Out. Scram. Go to school.” Kuroko waved his hand gesturing for the red head to get out. Akashi gave another sigh and grabbed his bag before obliging, all the while muttering something Kuroko couldn’t make out. It was probably ridiculous complaining anyway.

With Akashi gone, Kuroko settled in for a long and boring day. He didn’t really want Akashi to leave, but he had taken up enough of his lovers time. Akashi needed to go live life and take care of his responsibilities and Kuroko didn’t want to be a burden. He didn’t want to be an overly clingy boyfriend who couldn’t fend for himself. He couldn’t say he wasn’t afraid though. He was. He was afraid of his mind and the dark thoughts that always seemed to be hanging out on the edges of his mind waiting for their chance to swallow him whole. Akashi was like a bright light that forced them to stay on the edge. His presence was strong and powerful and capable of chasing away the thoughts that dared to attempt to get closer. So of course Kuroko was afraid. Without him, there was nothing but his whimpy self to fight off those powerful demons.

He was just glad Akashi didn’t seem to notice. He was glad he could hold his tears and fake a smile till the door closed. He was glad he had the strength to push away when he wanted to grab on and never let go. And if he was strong enough to do all that, he was strong enough to survive a few hours. That’s what he decided to tell himself anyway. But first he would let a few tears fall. Then he would sleep. Maybe when he woke up again, he would actually be able to believe he was strong enough for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So..I feel really bad for Akashi after writing this chapter. Anyone else, or is it just me?
> 
>  
> 
> In case you missed the memo, I started a new abuse story, The Fragile Phantom, and a new eating disorder story, Weightless Phantom. Both take place during Teiko years.


	19. Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments appreciated!!  
> Thank you for patiently waiting for this oh so late update!!!!

Most of the day was spent sleeping. It was safer. He tried to distract himself while awake for a short while, but when it failed, he chose to sleep. He absolutely did not want to mess up. Perhaps he would be stronger tomorrow, but for today, he was not, so he slept.

To say he was relieved when he felt a warm body next to him was an understatement. Unfortunately, that relief didn’t last long. When he opened his eyes, Akashi was frowning down at him.

“Sei-kun? Wh…what’s wrong?”

“Did you sleep all day?” He asked with a hint of disbelief in his voice. Kuroko nodded.

“Most of it.”

“And you never once needed something?”

“I was okay.”

“Tetsuya….” Akashi warned. “You didn’t once text.”

“I didn’t want to bother you.” Kuroko explained sheepishly. He was figuring out where this was going.

“You didn’t once ask the staff for anything.”

“I didn’t want to bother them.” Kuroko replied again as he tried to burry himself under the comforter. Akashi wasn’t letting him hide though.

“Staff exist to be bothered. We pay them for a reason.”

“You pay them. They work for you.” Kuroko interrupted in a very matter-of-fact tone. Akashi gave him a stern look and shook his head.

“You are part of this household. They work for you now too. And don’t think I’ve forgotten that you never contacted me either. I know what’s going through your mind, Tetsuya.” Akashi chided with a knowing tone and warning glare before softening his expression. “I promise you, you are not a burden.”

Akashi paused to chuckle slightly at his lovers wide eyes.

“I’m sorry….”

“I forgive you. Will you come to dinner with me? My father will be there, so you don’t have to, but I would like you to.”

Kuroko nodded. He didn’t mind Akashi’s father. He just spent the weekend sitting at meals with six other people. Two people didn’t seem so bad. Maybe it was a bit awkward since he hadn’t really talked to Akashi’s father much and barely knew him, but that was okay.

 He would be okay. It was just a dinner table. It was just food. There was nothing scary about that. Having others see him eat wasn’t scary. Watching other people eat wasn’t scary. Kuroko just needed to remind himself that on repeat and it would be okay. Nothing scary. Absolutely nothing. And Akashi was smiling and kissing his forehead. Going to dinner made Akashi happy. How could something that made his lover be scary?

Okay…..so that last thought should probably be thrown in the trash. Plenty of scary things probably made his boyfriend happy, but that wasn’t the point. This wasn’t murder. This was dinner. Simple. Normal. Not scary. That’s what he told himself all weekend and it worked. So that’s what he told himself now as he forced a slightly strained smile to his lips.

Akashi smiles back, stood and fetched the wheel chair but when he turned around, Kuroko was standing. His legs were shaky and he was partially holding himself up with his hand on the night table, but he was standing.

“What are you doing?” Akashi eyed him suspiciously.

“I can walk.” Kuroko pouted. His eyes were determined but the rest of him didn’t seem so sure as it shook like a leaf.

“You can walk? All the way to the dining room? Really now Tetsuya? You’re tired. Sit in the chair.” He ordered with a slight threat to his tone. He brought the wheel chair over and tried to help Kuroko into it, but Kuroko resisted.

“I’m tired of the chair. I can walk.” Kuroko protested and he shrunk away from Akashi’s helping hand.

“Chair Tetsuya.”

“I have two legs. I want to use them.”

“Barely. You have two twigs.” Akashi retorted harshly despite himself. Kuroko flinched. The statement hurt, but it wasn’t enough to make him back down. He wanted to walk. He wanted to prove he was getting better. He wanted things to be normal again and go to school again and make his boyfriend proud. He wanted to start all that by walking, so he stood his ground.

“Two _twigs_ are enough, Akashi-kun. Just let me hold onto you.”

Flinching at Kuroko’s use of his surname, Akashi sighed. He wasn’t going to win this battle and he didn’t really want to argue anymore. Reluctantly, he let go of the chair and rested Kuroko’s arm over his shoulders to help hold him up and wrapped his own arm around Kuroko’s tiny waist. “You win, Tetsuya. Just let me know if you get too tired.”

“Yes, Sei-kun.” Kuroko relented. He sent up a quick prayer that he could actually make it since he wasn’t sure. The mansion was large and the dining room was rather far away and required taking the stairs. However, he wasn’t going to give up just because it was hard work. With a deep breath, he leaned his head on Akashi’s shoulder and let the red head lead him to the dining room.

It was a slow walk and they took a few breaks, but Kuroko made it. Akashi had to admit, the proud look in his lovers eyes when they finally sat down was worth it. Kuroko was proud of his accomplishment and so was Akashi if he was being honest.

Masaomi was surprised at the very least. He had been told that Kuroko had been joining the table when his friends had been over, but he didn’t expect him to make an appearance tonight. Not only did he make an appearance, the frail boy apparently manage to walk all the way there. Masaomi looked to his son, who was doing a poor job of hiding a proud grin, and then back to the bluenette, who looked tired but just as happy, before finally letting his own lips form a smile.

“Good Evening, Seijuro, Tetsuya.” He greeted after the two boys settled into their seats at the other end of the table.

“Good evening Father.” Akashi replied with a slight bow.

“Good evening Akashi-sama.” Kuroko followed suit.

Akashi gave his father a warning glare not to say anything upsetting to Kuroko when Kuroko rested his eyes for a moment and Masaomi just nodded. He understood how protective his son was of the little bluenette. Honestly, Masaomi could help but feel rather protective towards the kid too. He wasn’t going to do anything to upset him; at least not on purpose.

Masaomi made a quick gesture and the servants brought out their meals; steak, potatoes, green beans, and carrots for the two red heads and a bowl of chicken noodle soup for the bluenette.

“So how was school?” Masaomi asked his son as he cut into his meat. He didn’t usually talk to his son much at meal times, but he thought it might take away from the tense atmosphere for Kuroko a bit, so he decided to try it. If Akashi was thrown off by his fathers sudden interest in his daily life, he didn’t show it.

“It was fine, father.”

“I see.”

“How was your day father?” Akashi tried, catching on to what his father was trying to do.

“It went well.”

“That’s good.”

The table fell into another awkward silence. The Akashi family was trying to be as normal as possible, but it wasn’t working. The two of them just didn’t know how to have small talk with each other and it ended up sounding tense and formal. It wasn’t helping anything as Akashi noticed Kuroko was still just staring at his soup uneasily. Internally sighing, Akashi sent a reluctant pleading look to his father to help him distract his lover so the bluenette might get comfortable enough to eat something. He didn’t like asking for help from his father, but he didn’t like watching Kuroko stare a bowl of uneaten food either, especially after walking all the way to the dining room.

His father understood, but he wasn’t sure what to do either. He didn’t like seeing the frail boy at the other end of the table like that either, but he was also afraid he might say the wrong thing since he barely knew him. Still, his son was asking him for help so he had to try something.

“Tetsuya.” Masaomi grabbed the bluenettes attention.

“Yes sir?”

“Seijūrō tells me you like to read.”

“Yes sir. Very much.”

“Have you read anything interesting lately?” He tried, unsure where he was even trying to go with this topic. It seemed to be the right question though as Kuroko began listing a few of the books he had recently read and soon all three of them were engaging in a pleasant discussion about their favorite books and authors. After a while, the tension had completely dissolved and Kuroko was relaxed enough to eat most of his soup. Akashi gave a nod of thanks as the discussion drew to an end.

“Well, I must be returning to my study. I will see you both tomorrow.” Masaomi stood and nodded to both boys before leaving.

“Shall we go back to the room and wash up?” Akashi turned to Kuroko who nodded. Akashi nodded as well and held out his arm and helped the bluenette stand. They resumed their previous positions and made their way up the stairs. It was exhausting for Kuroko and they had to take a few breaks on the stairs, but Kuroko refused to be carried. When they finally got into the room, Kuroko stopped and untangled himself from Akashi.

“Is something wrong?” The red head asked as Kuroko attempted to steady himself without the support of Akashi or the wall.

“I want to walk.” Kuroko replied stubbornly.

“You’ve been walking Love.”

“I meant on my own. Just to the bathroom.”

“Tetsuya…” Akashi lowered his tone. He was proud of his boyfriends determination and success, but Kuroko had already done more than enough in his opinion.

“Sei…” Kuroko gave his best pleading expression. “It’s like ten steps.”

“And you’re tired.”

“Sei-kun…please.”

Akashi sighed and resigned himself to lose again. “Fine. But just to the door. I don’t want you slipping on the tile.”

Kuroko smiled brightly, although clearly tired, and took the first step. It was shaky since he had been quite active all evening, but he didn’t fall. Akashi stayed close though just in case, but it wasn’t necessary until they made it to the door.

Once they got to the door, Kuroko’s knees finally gave out under him as if they had been waiting for that exact moment, but Kuroko didn’t mind. He did what he set out to do and now he let Akashi pick him up and do the rest.

Even though his expression was that of deep concern and he had protested the whole way, he couldn’t be more proud of his boyfriend. Kuroko was healing. Kuroko was trying. For the first time in a long while, Akashi’s doubts dissipated. Kuroko was recovering. Kuroko would live. He was sure of it.


	20. Physical Therapy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay....short chapter, but I'm running out of ideas. If you have any ideas for scenes please let me know!!!!!!! Like, would you all like to seem him start attending Rakuzan with Akashi, experience a relapse, some sort of tragedy, something with the GOM, some intimacy between Akashi and Kuroko, giant robots attacking...idk???? 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy and I'm really sorry it's taking me so long to update all my stories lately!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Updates will probably continue to be slow at least for a while longer.

“Just a little bit more Tetsuya.” Akashi encouraged from his position standing in front of the treadmill Kuroko was using. It had been two days since Kuroko began walking again and Akashi and Dr. Nakata had arranged for Kuroko to begin physical therapy. Kuroko was excited but nervous about it. And with good reason.

He let out a barely audible groan but his eyes held a fierce determination as he forced himself through another two minutes of walking. His grip tightened on the handles and his arms took on as much of his weight as possible to make it easier, but they were weak too. When the two minutes finally finished, the physical therapist, Dr. Asari reached over and hit the stop button. Kuroko managed to step off the machine before his trembling legs liquefied beneath him. Luckily, Akashi was quick and caught him before he hit the ground.

“You did well Love.” The red head congratulated in a soft and reassuring tone. Kuroko smiled and snuggled into Akashi’s face as the latter supported him over to the metal chair.

“Good job Kuroko-kun. That was ten minutes.” Dr. Asari beamed. “How about we try some hand weights before we end the session?”

“I guess.” Kuroko replied unsure. Dr. Asari grabbed the two pound weights and handed them over. Detaching himself from his lover, Kuroko took the weights in each hand. They weren’t heavy at the moment, but he knew they would feel heavy after a while.

“Okay, you can do this sitting down if you need to. Just scoot to the edge of the chair and sit up tall. Now tuck your elbows into your side and hold the weights out like this.” The therapist demonstrated.

Kuroko let out a breath before scooting to the edge of the chair and copying the arm position.

“Good. Now lift them up in a ‘v’ shape on the exhale and bring them back to the starting position on the inhale. Try to do it four times.”

“Hai.” Kuroko replied before beginning. Just as instructed, he exhaled as he brought his arms up and inhaled as he brought them down. He managed four pretty easily and his lips curled into a small smile proud of the accomplishment. He glanced over at Akashi to see a similar expression before returning his attention to the trainer.

“Good.” Dr. Asari complimented as he wrote down the number on his clipboard. “Now I want you to tuck your arms into the side at a ninety degree angle palms facing up for a bicep curl. One at a time, lift the weight up to your shoulder on the exhale and bring it back down on the inhale. Do four.”

“Hai.” Again, Kuroko followed the instructions. It was a little more difficult this time since the weights were feeling a little heavy now, but he managed it and smiled at the end. The therapist also smiled and nodded as he wrote the number down on the paper again.

“Okay, last one for the day. Keep your arms at the side but have your palms facing inward. On the exhale, push the arms forward till they are straight and your hands are about level with your shoulders. On the inhale, bring them back to start. Again, four times.”

Taking a deep breath, Kuroko lifted his arms to a ninety degree angle. He exhaled and pushed the weights forward then pulled them back. It was harder this time and his arms felt weak when he finally finished. After all, they had been helping to hold him up on the treadmill. Still, he finished the four before letting his arms relax. Dr. Asari took the weights from his hand and he leaned into Akashi’s side.

“Good job. We will do a bit more next time. I will see you on Friday. Don’t forget to walk tomorrow, okay?” the trainer reminded as got up.

Kuroko nodded keeping his face snuggled into Akashi’s shirt. It was a cute sight and Akashi giggled a bit before detaching himself and grabbing the wheel chair. This time, Kuroko didn’t protest when Akashi helped him into the chair. He was tired and his legs were still shaky so he couldn’t have walked to the car even if he tried. As soon as he was settled he let his eyes rest while Akashi pushed him out of the building to the waiting limosine.

Kuroko groaned at the sight of the large car. Who takes a limo to a physical therapist? He had asked Akashi that morning but Akashi insisted. At least the seats were comfy he could easily control the heat.

“You did well today Love. I’m proud.” Akashi stated proudly after helping Kuroko into the car.

Kuroko smiled up at his boyfriend. “Thank you for coming with me. I’m sorry you had to miss practice though.”

“You are far more important Love. Besides, if I hadn’t come, I wouldn’t have gotten to watch my Tetsuya succeed at so many things.”

“You’re embarrassing!” Kuroko blushed and playfully hid his face in Akashi’s shirt causing the latter to laugh.

“And you are adorable.”

“Seriously! Embarrassing!!!” Kuroko whined giving a playful punch to Akashi’s arm.

Akashi chuckled. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” He teased.

“Bakashi!!”

“Fine. I’ll stop. I love you.” Akashi wrapped his arms around the bluenette and pulled him into his lap.

Kuroko nuzzled into Akashi’s firm chest and murmured an ‘I love you too.’ Then he let his eyes close and rested the rest of the way.

When they got back to the house, Akashi carried him to the living room and placed him gently on the couch before taking a seat next to him. Kuroko placed his head in Akashi’s lap and Akashi gently stroked his hair till dinner was called.


	21. Jacket

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long!!!!!!! And it's short....I'm sorry. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy. Oh....and please ignore the last couple of paragraphs. I have no idea what I'm doing. :P
> 
> Just pretend it's not there okay.
> 
> Okay.
> 
>  
> 
> Just a quick note: None of my stories will be updated again until sometime after mid-August. I am currently out of town with limited internet access and spare time so I apologize. I'll be back to writing again in August though!

Kuroko waited impatiently in the chair for the doctor to return with his test results. It had been more than a month since he started physical therapy and he was getting stronger. Unfortunately, more energy and strength was making him restless. He wanted to start going to school again instead of being cooped up in the house all day. However, he required the doctors’ approval to attend school.

Since Dr. Nakata moved out after the physical therapy started because a live-in doctor was no longer needed, Akashi took Kuroko to the hospital for a checkup every week. The doctor would run several tests, weigh him, and look over the physical therapists reports before deciding what Kuroko was and was not cleared to do. He would also ask about eating habits and whether any purging or cutting incidents occurred.

So far, only four incidents had taken place. Twice in the past month or so he had cut and twice he had purposefully thrown up. Or at least, he was caught twice. There were a couple days where his intake was barely above zero too, but for the most part, he was doing much better with his eating. He still couldn’t get over his fear of finishing his food though and if Akashi wasn’t so pushy about his intake, he would probably be eating less, but that wasn’t important. In fact, not much was important to him at the moment except getting the doctors permission to start going to school again. Besides, maybe if he could go to school again, the other things would be easier.

Akashi glanced over at his fidgeting lover with a sigh before placing his hand over the others still too bony hand. “Tetsuya….” He said softly. He wanted to say ‘be patient’ but he knew it was futile. There was a good chance Kuroko would be cleared for school and even Akashi was looking forward to it.

Luckily, the doctor finally returned. He glanced over the open file in his hands and smiled at the two boys as he took a seat on the stool at the desk. “I have your test results for the week and I’ve read over the therapists notes.” He spoke in a cheery tone. “You’re up by nine pounds since the beginning of the month which is good, but could be better. Your test results are improving as well and I understand there were no incidents this past week?” The doctor looked up for confirmation of the last part. Both boys nodded.

“There were none.” Akashi confirmed verbally when the doctor didn’t answer right away.

“Good!” The doctor nodded and scribbled something on his clipboard before looking at Kuroko with a soft smile. “You can go to school.”

A big grin, well big for Kuroko, appeared on the bluenettes face and he quickly turned to Akashi and startled him with a hug. “I get to go to school, Sei-kun.”

Akashi chuckled. “I heard.”

“There are some rules though.” The doctor interrupted.

Kuroko pulled away from Akashi and settled back into his seat. The doctor pulled out a packet of paper and handed it over.

“The principle and teachers will need to be given these.” He motioned to the papers. “It’s permission for special accommodations such as being able to leave class if you become stressed or too tired. It also excuses you from physical education courses, events, and activities. You should read over it yourself as well so you know what permissions you do and do not have.”

“Hai. Thank you sir.”

“I’m not done yet. If you drop below 85 pounds or if going to school negatively affects your health in any way, you will have to take a break until you can be cleared again. Is that understood?”

“Hai.”

“Good. I expect to see you again next week.” The doctor rose and smiled, giving the boys a small bow before exiting the room. Akashi stood as well and held out his hand for Kuroko to take, which the latter did eagerly.

“Let’s go home. I have something for you.” Akashi grinned as he pulled Kuroko from the seat.

* * *

 

When they arrived at the mansion, Akashi took Kuroko’s hand and led him to the bedroom, through the attached bathroom, and into the large walk-in closet.  He let go and pulled out a plain brown paper bag from behind the section of suits. It was a good hiding place since Kuroko never touched the suits or that section in general saying he was afraid of messing it up.

Pushing the brown bag into Kuroko’s hands, he placed a quick kiss on Kuroko’s forhead. “Open it.” He said with a smile that reached his eyes.

Kuroko eyes him suspiciously but did as he was told and pulled out the tissue paper on the top. His hands grasped a ball of fabric or rather, a folded jacket and pulled it out letting the jacket unfold itself in the air.

“Sei?” Kuroko gasped holding the Rakuzan basketball team jacket in his hands that had his name in cursive sewed on.

“I know you can’t play right now, but I want you as a manager. Your observation skills are more than perfect for the position and it will give you something to do while I’m at practice.” Akashi explained, barely able to finish before being pulled into his lovers arms.

Kuroko squeezed him tightly letting a few tears fall from his eyes which startled Akashi.

“Tetsuya?” He asked worried that he had upset the bluenette.

“Thank you.” Kuroko squeezed him again. “Are you sure you want me though?” He asked pulling away.

Akashi studied those bright blue eyes a moment before pulling Kuroko to him and kissing him. “Of course” he whispered not detaching his lips. Gently, he nibbled Kuroko’s lip till his tongue was granted entrance into Kuroko’s mouth and permission to explore. It was the first non-chaste kiss the two had shared and Kuroko melted into Akashi’s warm embrace as his tongue desperately tried to keep up with Akashi’s till the two finally were forced apart to give their lungs the necessary air. If only breathing wasn’t a necessity they would have gladly continued.

Scooping Kuroko up princess style, Akashi carried him back to the bedroom and dumped him onto the bed. He would love to do more than just kiss, but Kuroko definitely was not cleared for that yet, so the two locked lips again. When they finally came apart, Akashi pulled Kuroko into his embrace and nuzzled his face into Kuroko’s hair. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Kuroko whispered a bit breathless closing his eyes.


End file.
